Night of Lords
by Marie de Sade
Summary: He was so different from the Castiel he knew he was so human that Dean wondered if there was any angel left in him at all. Deep down Dean knew what was happening though most of him denied it unwilling to believe his angel had fallen so e End verse {Hiatus}
1. Chapter 1

_"What was it like?" Castiel mumbled looking out the window. "The future?"_

_Dean poured a glass of whisky and slid the bottle across the table over to Cas. Bobby's kitchen was silent, except for the soft sound of rain hitting the window, everyone else was asleep. Dean came down for a drink to clear his head only to find Castiel sitting at the table looking troubled. "It was Hell."_

_Castiel seemed to consider this, though Dean realized the comparison was lacking. They both knew hell was worse. It got quiet then, Castiel had poured himself a glass though he didn't drink from it. Dean downed three shots while Castiel just stared out the window and swirled the amber liquid till it almost spilled over the edge. "What was I like?"_

"So oldies Dean, how do you like our humble abode." Cas grinned motioning to the dirty shack Dean would one day find himself living in. Cas flopped down on the bed reached into his jeans pocket to pull out an orange pill bottle.

"Don't." Dean snapped "put those away Castiel."

"Castiel," his grin grew wider "no one calls me Castiel anymore."

"What happened to you? You used to be so-"

"Prudish?" Cas snorted "please old Dean, its 2014. You have no idea how fun the new me is." Cas gave him a sly grin and tossed Dean the bottle. Dean dropped them in the trash but Cas only shrugged, its not like he didn't have more. The door slammed open and the 2014 Dean walked in, he paused seeing the other two in his room uninvited. "Ah! Our fearless leader returns, how was the pillaging?"

"What's he doing here?" He gutted his thumb towards his younger self and ignored Cas's question.

"You told me to watch him."

"Watch him somewhere else. I have things to do and I don't want to be bothered by you two." He kicked of his boots but Cas made no move to get of the bed just looked at Dean with a lopsided grin.

"You know I've been thinking," he started stretching himself over the bed. "Its going to be weird with the two of you both being Dean. So I think I'm gonna call you the warden, since you're such a slave driver."

"Fuck you Cas." He growled flipping him off. Cas laughed which only made Deans glare deepen.

"I uh should go maybe." Dean turned towards the door but stopped when the two yelled in unison,

"No!" Cas jumped off the bed and Warden Dean slammed his hand on the door.

"Wow, okay, guess I'll stay."

"Sorry kiddo, you don't know how things work around here, gotta stay inside or with me." Cas put his arm around Dean's shoulder but was pushed aside by a glaring warden Dean. "Geesh sorry just trying to show you the ropes warden."

"I don't know why I thought the best person to watch him was some drugged up whore." Cas's smile dropped and for a moment something flashed in his eyes but it was quickly replaced with another grin. Dean was beyond confussed it was almost like him and Castiel had switched places, Cas was goofy and fun loving while his future self had some sort of stick up his ass. "Get out, we'll talk later."

Cas gave a mock salute to the 'warden' and pushed Dean out the door. "What a dick. Real pain in the ass." Cas burst out laughing like he just made some hilarious joke, some people over by the picnic table turn and look at them, one gave a disgusted look at the pair. Cas ignored them and pushed Dean into some sort of meeting place and promptly shut the door behind him. He motioned for Dean to take a seat while he made his way to an old dusty cupboard. He pulled out a bottle of Jack Daniels and a dirty glass; walking back to Dean he filled the glass and handed it to him. Dean hesitantly downed the shot while Cas stood in front of him brought the bottle to his lips and he grinned momentarily before drinking.

"Uh Cas..." Dean mumbled noticing his close proximity, that and the fact his crotch was at Dean's eye level. "Kind getting an eye full right now."

"My apologizes." Cas chuckled but didn't step away. "So Dean, how do you like the new and improved Castiel?" He dropped down to the ground kneeling between Dean's legs.

"Cas what are you-"

"'Cause let me tell you," he whispered resting his hands on Dean's knees. "I always like old you better." Cas rubbed his hands up Dean's thighs. Dean froze unsure of what was happening, unsure of how to react. Cas stared up at him smirking, a mischievous glint in his eyes as hands worked their way higher and higher. He was so incredibly different from the Castiel he knew, he was so human that Dean wondered if there was any angel left in him at all. Deep down Dean knew what was happening, though most of him denied it unwilling to believe his angel had fallen so far. He tried to picture Castiel, socially awkward wearing the familiar trench coat with his head tilted to the side in confusion, in the same position the drugged out Cas was in now. The image sent all his blood rushing downwards and Cas took the swelling in Deans pants as a go ahead. Cas grabbed his belt buckles but Dean's hands clamped onto his wrists.

"Wait." He groaned. His pants had never felt tighter and when he looked into Cas's eyes, holding an annoyed looked but still the spectacular blue he remembered, he almost forgot he wasn't in his time anymore.

"Tell me to stop." Cas said softly but Dean didn't answer, he swallowed hard totally clueless as to what one usually does in this situation. When Dean's grip on Cas wrists loosened, Cas yanked down Dean's zipper and reached into his boxers. Dean's whole body stiffened when he felt Cas grab hold of him. When Cas pulled his hard cock out into the cold night air Dean briefly considered telling him to stop, but before he could do anything he felt Cas slid his tongue along the underside of his shaft.

"Fuck." He swore digging his nails into Cas's shoulder. The former angel grinned up at him, never breaking eye contact as he slid his lips down Dean's stiff cock. Cas's tongue circled his head and gently sucked till Dean saw stars.

"Dean, are you in here?" The wood of the hallway creaked beneath the approaching intruders footsteps. Cas quickly pulled away and wiped his mouth with his already dirty sleeve. Dean stumbled to shove himself back into his pants, Cas barely had time to throw a pillow at Dean to cover the bulge in his pants before the door swung open. In wandered a blonde girl he had seen in Cas room earlier, she looked at the two strangely like she was surprised to see them together. "What are you doing here Cas?"

"Ah, Cassidy! And how are you this fine evening?" Cas rushed over stopping Cassidy from coming any closer then a few steps. He put his arm around his shoulder and began forcing her to turn back to the door.

"It's 8 o'clock Cas, Dean and I-"

"Oh yes I'm sure you have plenty to discuss tonight. You can see though we're having a rather stimulating conversation right now."

"Stimulating huh?" Cassidy pushed Cas off her and eyed Dean warily. "Well then maybe my conversation can wait. After all I'm sure I can put of tonight's chores till tomorrow."

"Oh no I know how you love your chores little Cassidy." Cas grabbed her hands and started tugging her back to the door. "I know you love to get your hands dirty so tell you what, how about you go freshen up and meet Dean in his cabin in ten minutes." Cas reached into his pocket and pulled out a mini sized tube of toothpaste, gently laying it in Cassidy's hands.

"Fine, ten minutes." She pointed a finger sharply at the still out of breath men across the room. "Be there or I get the night off. And Cas stop stealing from Chuck's supplies you know he obsessively counts everything." The blonde slammed the door behind her leaving the two in silence. Cas yawned and stretched, walking over to Dean he grabbed the open bottle of Jack and downed the rest in one gulp.

"Well I'm beat." He scratched his head and started for the door. "I have a mattress on my cabin floor you're welcomed to use." Cas reached into a drawer by the exit and pulled out another pill bottle. One of the dozens he had hidden over the camp.

"What?" Dean almost gasped as Cas struggled with the bottle's child proof cap. "You're not going to…"

"I'm not going to what?" He grinned finally ripping the cap of and dumping several tiny pink pills into his mouth. Dean suddenly had an urge to grab the drugged angel and shake him till he finished what he stared. Instead he decided to wait till his 'friend' settled down and follow Cas back to the probably crappy floor mattress.

**Authors note**: So I've never written supernatural before but I've had this idea in my head for a while now. I've also never actually written anything M rated, and compared to most M rated supernatural fics this was pretty tame, but I still found it really awkward to write sooooo hopefully you don't all hate it. I'm not planning on ending this here I'd like to add more chapters since I have a whole plot lined out but I need to update some of my other stories.


	2. Chapter 2

_**Author's note**: So I forgot to put a spoiler warning which is basically only for the episode The End (5x04) any references made for any episodes before and after will be few and vague enough that you wouldn't recognize them unless you had already seen said episode… And I guess two important things to know is that in The End, Dean spent like two maybe three days in the future? Well for this story pretend it was more like two or three weeks. Also this is obviously a Dean/Castiel story, but within the first 5 min of the show you see that they kind of sleep around with anything that moves at the camp, so just a heads up that they'll probably be some one night stands not involving the two of them together…anyways enjoy _

Dean quickly learned that the camp worked like a clock, there were a lot of gears all working together and if one stopped turning the whole thing stopped. Unfortunately this meant that Dean spent a lot of time indoors since so many of the inhabitants had developed a habit of shooting first and asking questions later. Mostly he hung around Cas's cabin which was fine except when he had to hide in the closet so Cas could have pill parties and screw around with the girls that stopped by every few hours. The first day when everyone had left Cas had made a joke about Dean coming out of the closet. This ended up being the closet they came to discussing what Dean mentally referred to as _the incident_. His future self graciously agreed to give Dean an hour or two to walk around while he tried to catch up on his sleep in his cabin. Even then though Cas was glued to his side; jabbing his elbow into Dean's ribs every time he was about to say something wrong or gently 'reminding' him who people were.

There were a few people Cas tried to keep Dean away from the first was Cassidy who he had met briefly and Louis who he didn't want to meet because the guy freaked him out from half way across camp. The one he was never supposed to talk to ever under any circumstance was Steve, an old war veteran who was basically a human lie detector and would spot a 'fake' Dean within seconds of looking him in the eye. Chuck was supposedly okay since Cas explained that he no longer 'received revelation'. Overall Dean found the future pretty boring; he knew that outside the camp there were Croats and millions were dying and that the people inside the camp worried about that everyday, but emotionally Dean was still stuck in 2009.

"Well cry me a river." Future Dean sneered while untying his boots and tossing them across the room. "Was I always such a pussy?"

Dean suddenly understood why Sam and Bobby were always complaining about his attitude. While he'd like to think this was only the effect of having to live in a world full of croats even he had to admit he was an asshole. He had been waiting out in Dean's cabin while Castiel dealt with some so called _official business_ when his future self barged in with an obvious sour mood. "Just get out; I'd like thirty minuets with some idiot bothering me."

"But Cas-"

"Fuck Cas I'm in charge here not him. He'll find you when he comes down from his high." Dean would have said something if not for the cold death glare he was given. He decided that it be best to pick his battles since he didn't know how long Zachariah was going to keep him here. Luckily it was late enough that not to many people were out, the only source of electricity was a few hand crank generators, which meant most people went to bed early so they didn't have to get carpel tunnel from spinning a knob every thirty minuets. Dean headed over to Cas's cabin deciding to play it safe and not wander around.

"It's amazing the things you can't see." Cas's voice sung out through the beaded curtain that was his door. "Wind and butterfly spirits and um invisible rainbows."

On second thought he had spent enough time with Cas. High pitched giggles followed him as he left Cas's cabin followed by suspicious sounding moans. Dean was so sick of this place, they were all liars acting like they gave a damn about the others in the camp. There were only two types of people in the here; people like Cas who tried to drown their sorrows in sex and drugs and people like Dean who just shut down and chose numbness over pain. Dean reached the end of the camp grounds staring out beyond the gate at the darkness that oozed closer and closer everyday.

"Are you avoiding me?" Dean spun around ready to fight of the intruder hands raised into first ready to throw a punch to someone's jaw. Cassidy looked at him with a bored expression hands on her hips and head tilted to the side though Dean could see the tiny specs of anger in her eyes.

"uh Cassidy what are you doing here." It was hard memorizing everyone's name especially since everyone expected him to already know them. He had a system that seemed to work in some cases; Cassidy (Castiel), Samantha (Sam), Robert (Bobby), Rudy (black eyed demon bitch) but in most cases he was still completely lost. There was some French girl that didn't speak much English and had some weird hyphenated name and an Indian guy who kept saying his name so fast Dean wasn't even sure _he_ knew it.

"It's eight o'clock."

"Oh ya, right. You want to talk about camp stuff."

"Ya talk sure. Whatever we're doing I'm not doing it right next to enemy lines so let's go back to your cabin."

"No!" Dean grabbed hold of her arms and tugged her closer. The last thing he needed was to get a lecture from himself. Cassidy flinched from the tight grip which made Dean let go and take a step back. He kept telling himself to play it cool and not raise any suspicious but he had no idea how to deal with these people without Castiel to guide him through. Cassidy looked at him like he had suddenly sprouted a third eyes, somewhere between confusion and disgust. "It's just you know we really shouldn't talk till you've done you're chores for the night."

Was she being serious when she said that a few nights ago? Her and Cas had exchanged looks like maybe it was a joke but Cas never said anything that would contradict the whole chore thing. What kind of grown women had chores? Everyone else had certain weekly duties, things they did that kept the camp working but no one over fourteen referred to those things as chores. He didn't know what Cassidy's were though or if she'd already done them, what if she had just been joking around earlier. Dean mentally prayed she still had something left because if she walked in on future Dean with past Dean things would not turn out well.

"What exactly do you want me to do?" _Shit, shit, shit_ Dean mentally swore. Just his luck that she would ask the worst possible question on a subject he had no knowledge one. What did people do around here? She could clean the guns, fix Chucks broken window, derust the impala. Dean had to stop himself form flinching when he remembered the state his baby was in, slowly rotting out of site. The blonde looked at him expectantly her arms crossed with her fingers drumming against her elbow.

"There's plenty of trash in Cas's room." The laugh came out more bitter then Dean intended. He looked back towards Cas's cabin candlelight flickered against the dirty curtains. Those annoying giggles from earlier rang in his head like a mocking reminder he didn't have an angel anymore.

"Oh I see…" Cassidy's demeanor instantly softened as her eyes followed his gaze to the far off cabin. She ran her hand up his arm and gently squeezed his shoulder making him turn his head away from the offending view. "It's okay Dean, we'll go to my cabin tonight."

Momentarily Dean felt a bit better that he had adverted the two of them running into his double. But then Cassidy was grabbing hold of his hand and leading him to the other side of camp and he realized she was about to talk to him about supplies and day to day activities and he'd be staring at her blankly like she was the French girl. The outside of her cabin was falling apart even by the low standards set by this place, he vaguely remember Cas mentioning she joined soon after all the decent cabins were taken. The inside fared a little better her curtains weren't as ratty as Cas's and her floor wasn't as scratched up as Dean's. It was littered with objects, albeit broken objects, everything from shattered dishes to bloody bandage wraps. There was a big pile of clothes in the corner some were ripped and tattered others were covered in blood or black slime. Dean made a mental note to bring up laundry, that seemed legit.

"You never answered my question." Dean was snapped out of his thoughts and turned towards Cassidy who was trying to stretch out a sore muscle in her arm. _Damn_ he thought, had she asked him a question? "Are you avoiding me for some reason?"

"It's been a busy week Cassidy." Dean figured the best plan of action was to act like a dick, a.k.a. be just like future Dean, till she got pissed off and kicked him out. "I don't have the time to do you're job for you."

Cassidy seemed taken aback by his response she opened her mouth like she was about to tell him to fuck off. She paused first then her lips closed and pursed into an annoyed expression, like everyone else she knew you didn't back talk Dean when he was in a bad mood. Though Dean wondered when his future self was ever in a _good_ mood. "It's Jennifer isn't it?"

He racked his brain trying to remember a Jennifer, was she the brunette he saw himself with yesterday? Maybe one of the twins he saw a few days earlier? Cassidy seemed to take his silence as a yes, he could see her hands clench into tight fists till the skin over her knuckles stretched so tight they turned white.

"Look Dean I know I can't control who you fuck around with, but you made a commitment to me. I'm not going to go chasing after you every night."

"Cassidy," What the hell was Dean doing with the people in this camp, every girl that's talked to him since he'd got there had repeated some line his future self had fed them on some lonely night. "We have a connection."

"Do I look stupid to you?" Apparently he'd used that particular line on her already. Her arm shot up and Dean braced himself for a slap which never came only a sharp punch to the shoulder that was enough for him to loose his balance and fall on the worn out bed behind him. "Whatever let's just have sex."

Sam always had bad taste in television, so in the morning when Dean's ears were assaulted by hysterical laughter he threw a pillow over across the room and told Sam to shut off the stupid sitcom. Instead the laughter just got louder and louder till it finally roused Dean out of the warm embrace of sleep. In front of him Castiel leaned against the bed post bent over in laughter. He raised hand to point at Dean then wiped the tears that were forming in his eyes as waves of giggles hit him.

"You slept with Cassidy!" He managed to wheeze out between bursts of laughter.

"Cas go away." Cassidy mumbled pulling the blankets tighter around herself. Dean quickly grabbed the blanket before Cassidy could pull it off his naked body. The motion alerted the blonde to his presence; she turned over with barely one eye was visible from her blanket cocoon. "Are you still here?"

"It's funny because you have no idea what's going on." Cas jumped on the bed in front of Dean a huge grin plastered on his face. "So was it good."

"What are you even doing here Cas?" She asked poking the top of her out from the blanket.

"Dean sent me."

"Dean's right here you idiot."

"Not my Dean your Dean."

"Cas!" Dean snapped.

"Leave him alone Dean he's still high." Cassidy reached down beside the bed, she tossed his muddy boots and dirty jeans into his lap. "Why aren't you on patrol?" She yawned pulling the blanket back over her head and falling asleep. The two men look at her for a moment to make sure she was really asleep before they continued their conversation in soft whispers.

"Oooooh, you're in trouble" Cas quietly sung. Dean watched him as he fiddled with the things around him; running his fingers through his hair, scratching his cheek, fingering the buttons on his shirt, flicking the end of his shoelace. Cas looked at him long enough for Dean to see the only sliver of blue left amongst his nickel sized pupils. "You thought you ran off."

"What did you take?" He asked when Cas began to lean over his body; he placed his hands down on the bed trapping Dean between his arms. He leaned in till their noses touched and Dean could smell the stale booze on his breath. His heart speed up again finding himself in a similar situation as on his first night; he could feel Cas's skin against his, the weight of him against his legs, the pressure oh his knee gently pressing into his thigh.

"mmm I'm not sure, everything kind of blurs together." Cas smiled patting Dean on the head like he was some well behaved child. He hopped of the bed and tossed Dean the shirt that had been left on the bedside table. "The warden wants to see you."

"Do you mind?" Dean asked motioning to the fact he was completely naked under the blanket.

"It's nothing I haven't seen-"

"Just turn around Cas!"

Dean probably would have paid any money to not have to go into his future cabin but Cas was kind enough to open the door and push him in before he could change his mind. It was instantly obvious that Dean had been waiting for the two for a long time. He would have felt much better if his double wasn't cleaning a gun when they walked in.

"Where the fuck have you been? I had to cancel today's patrol because you went AWOL."

"He was getting to know Cassidy a little better." Cas patted Dean on the back in mock congratulations.

"Hey now," Dean raised his hands up in defense "You kicked me out of here. She ran into me and taking her back to her cabin was the only thing stopping her from coming back here."

"I don't suppose she mentioned having finished the repairs to the busted generator before you two hopped into bed."

"Well uh…"

"Of course she didn't." He slammed the hilt of the shot gun into the table leaving a crescent shaped notch in the wood. "Perfect, no patrol and no generator for the east side."

Dean stepped back as his future self stormed out slamming the door so hard a mirror fell of the wall and shattered on the ground. Dean looked at the window following the image of himself till it disappeared from view. Even when he was no longer in sight the pair waited a few more minuets before they dared move. Dean half expected to hear gunshots coming from Cassidy's room given the look he saw on his face before he left.

Cas held his hands out in front of him and started wiggling his fingers. Dean rolled his eyes and shoved Cas's shoulder trying to get him to snap back into reality. Cas wobbled a bit steadying himself on the wall so he didn't fall over. He squeezed his eyes shut then quickly blinked a couple times. "Wow the airs so heavy."

"You need to chill out man." Dean gently wrapped his hand around Cas's arm and led him over to the bed. He sat him on the faded red comforter softly pressing on his shoulders till the former angel lied down. Dean walked over to the other side of the bed kicked of his shoes and sat down next Cas. Dean grabbed Cas's hands and forced them down to his side when he saw Cas's fingers start to gauge into his skin picking at invisible things crawling up his arm. He considered lying down next to him but wasn't looking forward to Cas reaching over and _touching_ him again, instead he threw a pillow to the end of the bed and rested his head against the frame.

"September fourteenth, that was the last time I felt my brothers." Cas closed his eyes and placed his hands behind his head. "And I didn't tell you because I though you'd think I was useless." Dean didn't reply just stared up at the decaying ceiling. He wouldn't have known what to say anyways, how can you apologize for something you haven't done yet? Then Cas began listing the events of his time on earth; his firsts, his bests, his worsts and his lasts. He jumped between things that Dean remembered to things his Cas hadn't done yet. Some things he remembered differently then Cas described, Cas spent a good amount of time describing when the two of them went fishing on the lake by a cottage and Dean didn't have the heart to tell him that was a dream. Other stories he found hard to believe like taking him out for beer and hookers, he'd like to think he'd be more creative then to buy him a girl named Chastity for his first time. A lot of the time the things he said didn't make sense as if he was leaving something out. He never mentioned Sam or Bobby in fact he hardly mentioned anyone beside the two of them.

Over time his breathing evened out, his speech slowed down and his limbs stopped twitching. Dean felt some weird sense of accomplishment that he had kept Cas from unscrewing a pill bottle for a few hours. Eventually he had no more stories to tell, like his life had ended when he came to this camp. There were no more adventures or good times, there weren't even bad times just the time you spent waiting for the end. It became quiet and peaceful Dean was seconds away from sleep when he felt Cas rub a finger down his wrist and draw a circle in the center of his palm. Cas sighed contently as his fingers intertwined with Deans in a loose embrace. "I used to be happy."

"Cas-"

"Castiel."

"Castiel." Dean repeated tightening his hold on his friend hand, he was about to continue before he heard Cas's deep breaths and realized he'd fallen asleep. A few hours later his double come in and wake them up but for now the least he could give Cas was a some time away from this place.


	3. Chapter 3

_Needless to say Dean wasn't happy when he found the two sleeping in his bed. He was even less happy when Cas started referring to him as Winchester whenever both Deans were in the room, like he didn't deserve his name anymore. For the rest of the day all he could think of was strangling his younger self for his stupidity and his naivety that he couldn't see right through Cas. He wasn't and idiot he knew what was going on even if 2009 Dean didn't._

Dean knew him hiding out couldn't go on much longer, most of the refugees knew something was going on they just couldn't pinpoint what. He had spent a good hour waiting in Dean's cabin before he decided to risk sneaking of to Cas's. It was unusually warm that morning; most people had elected to stay inside though Dean still had to duck out of sight once or twice. Still the camp seemed unusually dead that morning, Dean was wondering if there was another meeting in rec hall when he walked up to Cas's doorway and got his answer.

Nearly a third of the camps women were sprawled out on the floor clad in nothing but panties and who's ever arm happened to around them. What a time not to have penthouse forum.

Stepping as lightly as he could carefully avoiding the tangle of limbs and messy hair. The candles were burned out most of the wax having melted away hours ago pooling into the carpet and wood floors. The air was heavy from incense and rum and _sex_ with Castiel oddly absent, though Dean was surprised to see Risa curled up on the floor. He was considering just turning around and heading back when a hand sprouted out of the pile of bodies and wrapped itself around his ankle. A pair of steely blue eyes stared up at him; Cas laid a finger to his lips a soft shushing sound slipping out from between them. "Karla." He whispered letting go of Dean and gently pushing on the shoulders of the young blonde that clung to his chest "Time to let go."

She moaned softly while turning over moving in close to the nearest warm body. Dean stared down at Cas who was snug between the women's bodies that covered everything below his navel. He shifted trying to pull himself from the knots of skin as his body slowly broke free. Dean first saw a slim but toned torso, then an obviously home made anti-possession tattoo right by his hip bone. When he saw thin wisps of black hair he realized Cas had nothing on but human flesh to keep him warm the night before.

"Do you mind?" He mocked mimicking Dean's words to him. Dean quickly spun around before he could see anymore, his eyes burning a hole into the Buddha statue. He tried to focus on how Cas could have possibly convinced Dean to let that statue take up valuable truck space to bring back here. He could hear Cas shoving himself into his threadbare jeans and his light footsteps as he walked towards the hunter. A body pressed tight against his stopping him from turning around, Cas pushed himself onto his tippy toes so he could reach Dean's ear. "We have to be quiet."

Quickly and with surprising force he flung Dean nearly across the entire room before he suddenly pushed him onto the bed. He would have protested if Cas wasn't suddenly hovering over him, with half his body draped across the hunter the other he supported with his elbow dug into the mattress. He pushed his lips against Dean's neck biting hard into the soft skin while at the same time shoving his calloused hand into his jeans. "If you wake them up I'll stop."

Cas ran his tongue over the edge of Dean's ear shifting more of his weight on top of his body; he tugged on Dean's shirt sending three buttons clanking to the floor. Slowly Cas dragged his thumb over Dean's hardening cock, circling the tip and sent Dean fumbling to open his jeans before he came in his pants like some inexperienced teenager. He shoved his pants down just enough that Cas could pull him out which made the man chuckle glad that Dean was finally playing along. He let go of Dean only long enough to spit his hand and reach back to grip the hunter's base. Dean saw stars as Cas began to move, first painfully slow then faster with each stroke till Dean had to chomp down on his lip to keep from crying out. Cas ran his tongue along the smooth skin of Dean's neck working his way across his shoulder and collarbone leaving bite marks all the way down to his chest. He flicked his tongue over the perked flesh flashing his eyes up at Dean who nearly gulped at the hungry look in his eyes.

"Fuck!" Dean swore when Cas's thumb rubbed a particularly sensitive spot. He could have sobbed when he felt Cas's hand slow to a stop; his eyes snapped open to see Cas grinning down at him, his eyes slowly turning to the pile of women behind them. It was painfully quiet for a moment Dean silently begged they wouldn't move. His hands shot up and grabbed a handful of hair tugging Cas toward him. "Damn it Cas, I'll be quiet. Just. Don't. Fucking. Stop."

Cas looked almost smug at Dean's words and, thankfully, obliged. His hand continued its ministrations while his lips latched themselves onto the crook of Dean's neck biting and sucking and making Dean practically wriggle on the bed. In a few more strokes Dean felt a white hot heat spread across his body making him push himself against Cas and spill into his hand.

Dean panted and Cas rose to his knees looking at his come covered hand. Dean nearly whined as he watched Cas run his tongue over his skin, licking the Dean off himself. When his hand was clean he crawled up to lay beside Dean who was still trying to catch his breath. "A thank you would be nice."

* * *

><p>Every time Dean laid his eyes on his future self all the could think of was him and Cas. He wondered if he knew what they were doing. He wondered what would happen if anyone found out what he and Cas were…well he didn't really know what Cas and him were doing. Every time they were alone, or even if no one was looking, Cas would give him these filthy looks sometimes running his tongue over his bottom lip.<p>

His confusion is what made him sneak out that Saturday morning before everyone woke up. The sun had barely risen as he made his way over to Cas's cabin, a knot forming in his stomach over a conversation he really didn't want to have. He was almost thankful when he didn't find a pile of women on Cas's floor this time. Walking in with new found confidence ready to sneak into Cas's bed and fool around a bit before he forced himself to ask what it all meant.

So it was like a slap to the face when he found two women wrapped around Cas's body. He recognized the curly brown and shiny blonde hair as Rebecca and Cassidy. He wanted to run out the door but his body stayed glued in place staring at the sleeping threesome. He felt like an idiot, like he should have known that a sloppy hand job didn't mean that Cas wanted anything more then a quick fuck from Dean. Then he just felt used and pissed that he couldn't see past a man he thought he had known better then anyone. The three jumped awake when Dean's boot made a swift kick to the bed frame, he didn't wait for them to say anything just stormed out.

"Dean, wait!" He spun around when he heard Cassidy run up behind him. She had Cas's sheet wrapped around her, her blonde hair tangled into a mop on her head.

"Go to hell" he snapped.

"I don't get it, what are you so mad about?" Cassidy murmured pushing a lock of blonde hair behind her ear and trying to tightening the sheet around her body.

"Seriously? You really didn't think I'd be pissed, does this shit just happen everyday here?" What made everything worse was that he was yelling at this stupid woman instead of the man-whore he wanted to yell at. He honestly didn't care that

"Wait," her eyes got all squinty and her brows wrinkled in confusion. "You're mad at me?"

"Well ya, a guy walks in on his…" _friend, boyfriend, fuck buddy_"girlfriend with another guy he's going to be pretty fucking angry. You're lucky I didn't punch that stupid, lying-"

"Wait, what? Girlfriend? God, Dean don't-" she paused taking a deep breath. "Ok Dean, intervention time. I don't know what's happening with you right now; personally I don't want to know. But it's creeping me out. I mean we both know I'm your go to girl when you and Cas are fighting, and you show up drunk and we both pretend that you only call me Cas as some coincidental nick name. Now you're show up at my cabin totally sober, you call me Cassidy, you're there when I wake up. Then you go barging into Cas's cabin on a Saturday accusing us of screwing-"

"Me and Cas?" He stutters. "you think I'm gay?" It was obviously a stupid question, he had had every intention, not five minutes ago, of whispering filthy things into Cas's ear till he spread his legs for him.

"Honey you're so far in the closet you're finding extra ammo."

He was too embarrassed to hear the rest of what she said; he turned around and walked back to his cabin the image of Cas staring up at him from between the two women still burned into his mind. His double looked ready to bitch him out when he walked in but was able to swallow his anger when he saw the look on his younger self's face. "Amy find out I banged her sister?"

It made Dean sick to his stomach the way people just _used_ each other around here. "I walked in on Cas."

"Doing what?" he didn't look up as he sharpened his knife, not really interested in Dean's petty problems.

"Fucking Cassidy and Rebecca." Dean's knife paused half way on the sharpening stone, he looked up at the man by the doorway.

"Cas would sober up then sleep with those two."

"I found him naked with them wrapped around him."

"What can I say," he shrugged "he meditates in some kinky ways."

"Kinky sounds so dirty." Cas was stretching an arm over his head when he walked through the door. "There a reason you felt you needed to barge in unannounced during my day of rest?" By the look on Cas's face he knew exactly what made Dean so eager to come seem him that morning.


	4. Chapter 4

"Damn." Dean swore seeing his men's eyes widen at the sight of two Deans that stood before them. "I'm not gonna lie to you. Me and him—it's a pretty messed-up situation we got going. But believe me, when you need to know something, you will know it. Until then, we all have work to do."

Dean dragged himself back to his cabin, furiously wondering if he could take himself in a fight. Luckily he was able to calm himself down enough to just yell at the guy, in the end they reached an uneasy understanding that it was 2014 and that meant 2014 Dean was in charge. And because the universe seemed to have it out for him nearly every person at Camp Chitaqua was crowded around his door when they walked out. Some of them glared, nearly twitching knowing from experience that if something seemed off it was probably evil. There were a several girls surrounding Cas, with sour faces poking their fingers into his chest while he grinned nervously his arms raised in surrender.

"Ladies, ladies I swear I was just as deceived as you were." When the group saw the hunters walk out their heads turned in unison like a pack of hungry piranhas. Dean tried to turn right back around into the cabin but his future self blocked the door and in some twisted revenge plot pushed him down the stairs into the blood thirsty girls.

"Now wait- I can explain."

"Cassidy." She hissed like her full name was a curse.

"Having a bad day." The red-head placed her hands on her hips.

"I should have known, you were too nice."

"Dean's never nice."

"But at least he's not a liar."

"Ok let's take a deep breath." Cas interrupted the group, standing between them and Dean. He placed his palms over his lungs taking four deep breaths, closing his eyes and trying to look calm. "It's not like any man could say no to such desirable young women." Cas was experienced enough to know to duck, Dean unfortunately didn't see Laura's fist until it had made contact with his jaw.

"Oh no!" Cas cried in mock anguish. "To the medical ward! Sorry ladies but this is a emergency." Cas pushed him through the crowd of people quickly before the girls could follow. The medical ward was really just a small cabin with a first aid kit, that and several tables covered in bloody sheet like a makeshift gurney. "Now you would have seen that coming."

Dean flinched when Cas pressed a dirty wash cloth to his bloody lip. "I didn't even sleep with all those women."

"Someone did."

"Ya well, if they spent so much time with me maybe they should have noticed I didn't have a huge stick up my ass like usual."

"Cassidy hates you, so does Laura, plus the couple of girls who think you're a douche. They spend as little time with you as possible."

"Then why are they all so eager to fuck my brains out every night?"

"You're not gonna like it." Cas hummed.

He was right Dean didn't like it. They snuck out of the cabin without any one coming over to check out their leader's crazy double. They walked to the very end of the camp where a small patch of land had been cleared for a garden. Most of the leaves brown, the dry stalks tilted under the weight of the tiny discoloured vegetables. With rain being the plant's only source of water a good half the garden was on the brink of death. Like everything else on the planet.

"That kid there, that's Cassidy's brother." On the far end of the garden a guy was picking through the dirty, looking at the soil in mild disappointment then writing on a tiny notepad. "He's a genius, at least he used to be, the only smarts that matter not are street smarts. He's uh I guess what you'd call slow socially but pretty dedicated."

"I don't understand what this has to do with me."

"Well you see Francis doesn't go on missions. Basically to Now You he's totally useless but you let him stay. See Cassidy has no reason to like you but she has plenty of reason to make sure you like her."

"She thinks I'd toss him to the Croats?"

"It's not like you've never threaten it." Cas waived at Francis who just kind of stared back at him in annoyance. "Now Laura she's sick, I don't know with what since we don't talk much but she'll be out for weeks at a time. I guess the girls feel like they have some control in their lives if they keep you happy."

He started walking back to his cabin Dean followed close behind because really he had no place to go. It was quiet as he thought about how he was probably the worse thing on the planet which said a lot since he knew that some where Lucifer was walking around. He remembered walking in on Cas talking to those women about orgies and how he felt a mixture of surprise and what he could only describe 'icky'. But Dean wasn't any better.

"Don't look so down." Cas stopped in front of Dean's cabin trying to nicely hint that this was his stop and Cas was continuing alone. "It's a dog eat dog world now, or maybe more of a Croat eat everything world."

* * *

><p>Dean thought that if you were struggling with an idea the best person to talk to was yourself. However 2009 Dean seemed to be in a pissy mood which he found odd since he had thought he'd been pretty damn nice when Dean had shown himself to the entire camp.<p>

_Talk about not being able to look yourself in the eye_ he thought, deciding that he'd be talking to the air whether his younger self was there or not, might as well have a body there to keep up appearances.

"You're a real piece of work you know that."

"Well what can I say," he sighed nearly having had enough of his past self "I couldn't have done it without you."

"I'm going to go back and I'm going to do everything I can to not end up like you." His nails dug into the but of his gun getting pretty annoyed with this whole holier-then-thou- crap he kept playing. It's not like he had any idea what had happen in the five years that separated them. He was still fighting, he was still saving people so what if he wasn't there to hold everyone's hand.

"Dean! Dean, I am so sorry, you have no idea- I mean um" Cassidy had ran up to the door clad in only skinny jeans and a ratty black bra. She panted, her breaths coming out in shaky rasps "It's just- you know- I never thought it would- but Francis he's so sensitive- I was told it was- um ah it's not fair you know."

She rambled on for a bit not finishing her sentences before she started another thought. The two stared at the girl who was tugging at her hair as she tried to explain herself, though with every word she said they just became more confused. They heard a shout come from outside then Rebecca quickly stumble up the stairs and begin to tug at the blondes arm "I _told_ you not to take that second hit."

Cas was close behind ready to help calm down the girl but stopped dead in his tracks when he looked into Dean's hard glare. The younger Dean thought for a moment that Cas might just turn around and leave but when Rebecca nudged him Cas quickly began to rub Cassidy's back and whisper in her ear.

"No, no I need to tell him. Cas you two, I didn't know- you know?- You were so pretty and now you're- you don't have any- you're all alone." She mumbled.

"Damn it Cas." Dean nearly flipped his chair over when he stood up. "Get your ass in here. Dean take her outside and get her to calm the fuck down." The younger Dean hesitantly made his way to the door not really sure how he was supposed to calm the panicky girl. Cas on the other hand vigorously shook his head, eyes wide and hands gripping the left side of the door frame. "Now Cas!"

Cas frowned but entered the cabin switching places with the hunter who was quick to usher the girl away from the cabin. It took both of them to keep her from falling down every few minutes when her legs gave out. They finally set her down on a picnic table since the realized there was no way they were getting her to her cabin anytime soon. Rebecca kept apologizing saying Cassidy wasn't used to drugs and she should have been watching her, holding the blonde close she gently ran her fingers through her hair and told her it was going to be ok. Cassidy kept pushing locks down to cover her face till she looked like a blonde grunge girl, at one point she looked up from between her rat nest like hair turned to Dean and in a sign song voice asked "You do know what he's doing in there right?"

Dean started running back once Cassidy stared listing the broken bones Dean gave Cas the last. He couldn't believe that he'd ever purposely hurt Cas and all he could think of was Cas nearly cowering at the door when his future self yelled at him to get inside. There was a time when Cas would have been able to knock him down with just a wave of his hand, but this Cas was weak and scared and- and was currently being bent over a table moaning like cheap porn star.

Dean almost did a double take when he saw Cas, sure there must be something wrong with his eyes. He had his pants around his ankles, his eyes screwed shut and his hands trying desperately to grab onto something but only succeeding in scraping his nails against the wood. The worst part was that Dean was standing there watching _himself_, pants hanging loosely around his waist one gripping Cas's hip the other pressing the mans face roughly into the table trying to hold him still. Dean could hear him whispering things both filthy and angry as he moved fast and hard into the fallen angel.

"Dude what the hell?" He finally managed to chock out. The hunter almost instantly pushed away from his partner, shoving himself into his pants and booking it for the door nearly knocking himself over when he pushed past. Dean watched the retreating form of his future self too afraid to turn around and look at Cas. He couldn't really be angry with him, after all he had caught him with his future self but it didn't change the fact it felt like a punch to the gut when he saw them together.

"He hadn't touched me in months." Dean finally turned to Cas who was lacing his belt through his jean loops. He didn't look up just stared at the ground refusing to meet the intruders gaze. "And you…you made him leave."

He looked absolutely miserable Dean couldn't see his face but his shoulders were slouched and just by the pained tone of voice he knew. "Cas." Dean reached for him but Cas stepped back out of his reach. "I'm sorry."

Cas lifted his head and Dean could have sworn felt his heart stop. He'd seen Cas fight humans, demons, angels and everything in-between. He'd been there when Cas full on rebelled against heaven, saw the walls covered in his blood and was probably the first person Cas went to when he was unexplainably brought back from the dead. He'd never seen Cas look defeated. Cas wouldn't even look at him his eyes were glued to the floor his lips turned into a deep frown. "You're always sorry Dean."


	5. Chapter 5

**Suggested play list for this chapter :)** :_ permanent by David Cook and __Meds by Placebo_

People avoided Dean like he was the new Pestilence. Cas, the women, even Chuck stayed clear of him the next few days. They were still unsure if their Dean liked his past self and no one wanted to look like they were picking sides. Which really was fine by Dean because he spent most of his time moping in what looked like an old art cabin, he paced around the room or sat in one of the unsteady chairs and just stared at the wall. Images of Cas bent over a table kept popping up in his mind and he racked his brain trying to figure out what that even meant. People fucked to pass the time at the camp so maybe it was nothing, which made Dean think maybe Cas was just passing the time with him.

He felt his stomach growl in hunger and finally forced himself to walk over to the kitchen. The way to the kitchen didn't go anywhere near Cas's cabin but he some how managed to end up there anyways. He stood by the doorway trying to peek through the bead curtain, trying to see if Castiel was even there.

"I never pegged you for a peeping Tom." Cas chuckled tapping Dean on his shoulder. He jumped and spun around nearly knocking Cas over by the quick motion.

"I uh… I thought we should talk or something."

"Talk? Oh you always want to talk, I'm not a machine you know. I'm tired, I have a headache, it's been a long day, I have menstrual pains or something like that."

"What?" Dean had no idea what he was going on about and he was pretty sure neither did Cas. The former angel broke out into a wide grin and patted Dean on the back before pushing past him for his cabin. "I'm sorry about what happened with…"

"Yes I believed you already said that." Cas snorted swiping the curtain out of his way and leaving Dean alone outside.

"I thought maybe I could make it up to you." Dean tried not to say it to loud and quickly looked around to see if anyone was staring. There was a long minute where Cas didn't say anything, thought it felt much _much _longer to Dean, he thought they were going back to the silent treatment. Cas appeared again in the doorway slightly hidden behind the beads.

"You thought so, did you?" Dean thought maybe Cas was smiling it was hard to tell with the beads obscuring his face but Dean prayed he was. He almost sighed in relief when Cas's hand slipped between the beads and motioned for him to come in. Castiel's was turned away from Dean when he entered, pouring himself yet another drink of straight whiskey. "So what exactly did you have in mind?"

"I thought…it be obvious."

"No, I have no idea." Cas feigned innocence, which really frustrated Dean because damn it he was trying here and Cas was making it really difficult. He stared Cas down and realized that this wasn't really the time for talk, so he took matters into his own hand.

He took the glass out of Cas's hand and downed the contents before slamming it on the table. Cas opened his mouth to protest but Dean silenced any complaints he might have by pressing his lips to Cas's. The table behind them wobbled as Dean pressed Cas onto it, his hands slipping under Cas's shirts running them up and down his sides. A leg wrapped around Dean's waist and pulled him tight against Cas's body who twisted his fingers in Dean's hair.

Without really thinking about it Dean's hands start to slide down Cas's leg hooking it around his waist like the other one. He lifts up Cas's slim body; grabbing hold of the soft flesh of his backside Dean moved them to the bed without taking his lips off Cas. When they both tumbled on to bed Dean finally managed to pull himself away from the man beneath him. Looking down at Cas, his lips pink and swollen, his hands tugging at Dean's shirt trying to pull him back down, Dean couldn't imagine why it took him weeks to end up here.

"Dean." Cas whined pushing his hips up into Dean's who groaned feeling the other mans growing need pressed against his thigh. Cas made quick work of his clothes and was soon tugging on Dean's belt.

"You sure about this?"

"Don't back down on me now." Cas rasped out, gripped Dean's shoulders and in a flash had them both flipped over. Cas straddled Dean, leaned down and ran his tongue down Dean's neck before latching down on his shoulder, sucking and biting till Dean was moaning beneath him like one of Cas's high groupies. "God," he breathed, burying his face deep in the crook of Dean's neck and pushing his hard naked flesh between Dean's legs. "I want to fuck you so badly."

"Ya." Dean panted running a hand through Cas's dirty hair. "Ya, okay."

Pushing himself on to his elbows Cas looked at Dean with amused contemplation. "No, that's not really a 2009 Dean kind of thing. Hmmm maybe more of a 2011 thing, but I don't think you're ready for it." Dean was about to protest when Cas started to yank his boxers off, "Don't worry I'll take care of you."

Cas tossed the clothing on the floor; Dean felt his cock twitch at the sight of the pale man's naked skin. He grinned down at Dean before grabbing hold of the hunter, sliding his tongue up Dean's length. Dean bucked his hips up into Cas's warm eager mouth, Cas moaned sending vibrations that rippled through Dean's body. Momentarily Cas lifted his mouth off Dean's dripping cock, making the man practically whimper, to coat two of his fingers in saliva. The look on Cas's face when he pushed his fingers inside himself was probably the filthiest thing Dean had ever seen, the way his eyes snapped shut and bite his lip so hard Dean thought it might start bleeding.

He was so enthralled with watching Cas work himself open he completely forgot about the throbbing need between his own legs. It wasn't until Cas was climbing back on top of Dean that he snapped back into reality. Dean gripped Cas's hip as he slid himself deep into his tight body and hissed when Cas's nails scrapped down his chest. This was all unfamiliar territory for Dean but when Cas started to move back and forth Dean practically saw stars. Cas leaned forward his hands pushing into the pillow on either side of Dean's head rocking himself on Dean's cock. His eyes slammed shut when he felt Dean brush against a sweat spot inside him, Cas's mouth opening in a silent cry. Dean let out an ungodly moan when Cas leaned down to nibble on Dean's ear the new angle making Cas muscles tighten around him. He didn't understand what Cas was saying maybe it was Enochian, maybe it was gibberish but Dean was sure it was filthy and when he wrapped a hand around his leaking cock Cas practically mewed like a little kitten.

With every stroke administered by Dean's strong hand Cas seemed to quicken his pace, hissing and swearing, digging his nails into Dean's shoulders till tiny drops of blood began to drip onto the bed. Cas's head was thrown back as waves of ecstasy washed over him thrusting himself into Dean's hand then back onto his cock. His pace became sloppy and erratic till he was spilling himself in spurts all over Dean's chest, Dean managed only a few more deep thrusts before he followed.

With a heavy thud Cas fell on the bed next to Dean who was using Cas's shirt to wipe the come off his chest, which made Cas let out a small chuckle. They lied in silence for a bit, Cas trying to catch his breath while Dean replayed the events in his head. Remembering the temper he had developed over the years and shivered thinking about what might happen if his future were to walk in right now. Cas interpreted the shiver to mean Dean was cold and shifted to lay his head on Deans chest and fling a heavy arm across him. "That was enjoyable."

Dean almost laughed, despite the fact that Cas spent his days getting high and lost in women, parts of him never changed. Even with his new ability to crack jokes and talk like a normal human there were still times when he'd slip back into his old speech patterns.

They stayed like that for a long time, lying in bed listening to each other breathe, till Cas pulled Dean on top of him and they started all over again. But then it was getting close to dusk and people would be back from their patrol soon which meant women and twitchy addicts would start to file into Cas's cabin. "Reach into my drawer." Cas mumbled into Dean's neck. "Grab the green pills."

Dean didn't move just stared up at the ceiling and pretended he didn't hear Cas. "I'm tired Dean. I _need_ them."

"I think you'll survive."

"But why risk it?"

* * *

><p>Scrabble, even when all the pieces are there, is a boring game. Dean didn't know how Cas could play game after game with Francis, using tiny wood chips with letters carved in, pushing them beside the smooth tile of the original pieces to form ridiculously long words. And of course they didn't even play by the 'old world rules' as they called, making it pretty hard to follow who was winning or what 'new world' version they were playing. Dean couldn't believe how long his future self and him spent watching the two play the stupid board game.<p>

"It's your turn." Francis said impatiently tapping his fingers on the table.

"Patience young one." Cas rearranged his pieces for possibly the tenth time before finally picking up three tiles and placed them next to the A in admiration spelling out _adna_.

"That's not a word."

"You said you wanted to play bilingual scrabble."

"Enochian shouldn't count, it's not a human language."

"If you can't match it, just say so."

"I know Enochian." He huffed, Cas smiled and motioned to the table _put your money where your mouth is_. He picked up two tiles then set them down again his lips pursing in concentration. Cas's face broke out into a smug grin thinking he'd stump the young genius. It took some time but Francis finally picked up seven tiles and laying two on the left and five on the right of the R in _perdition_ formed the word _Coronzon_.

Dean barely had time register the pale white colour Cas's faced turned before he had flung the board of the table and was holding Francis arm in a tight grip. "Where did you hear that name?"

"Dude what the hell? It's just a game."

"Shut up Dean." Cas voice was serious almost threatening like it had been years ago when they first met. Dean glanced at the other him who was taken aback when Cas had told him to shut up but patiently waited to see what had made him so on edge.

"Let go!" Francis shrieked trying to pull away but Cas just pulled him closer.

"Where, Francis."

"You!" He cried out starting to scratch at the hand that was leaving bruises on his skin. "You told me."

"No I didn't."

"You talk in your sleep."

"No one has said that name since the rebellion. Who _told_ you?"

"I'm not supposed to say." Francis whispered his eyes flicking over to Dean and quickly looked away a guilty look spread across his face. Dean remained still and watched his older self stand up and stare down the boy who was still frantically trying to free himself.

"What's going on Cas?" He didn't look away from Francis, who had now stilled under the watch of the two men, there was a long minute of silence Dean thought Cas was giving Francis a chance to fess up before he answered Dean's question.

"In our language we called him Coronzon." He didn't need to elaborate they both knew who he was talking about. _Lucifer_. Dean tensed and saw the other Dean had to, Francis looked near tears and Cas's grip had only tightened. "What did Cassidy say about lying?"

"No!" He shook his head vigorously. "He said you'd try to trick me."

"Was it David?" Cas said it so quietly Dean almost didn't hear it but the other one did and he was out the door before Francis could answer. Giving one quick look at Dean Cas quickly followed, rushing out the door while Dean was still trying to figure out who David was. Once he had made sure Francis wasn't about to faint Dean left the cabin finding it rather quiet, Cas and future Dean no where to be seen, only a few girls sitting at a picnic table. Still he only had to walk less then three steps before everything exploded, Dean stormed out of one of the cabins a radio in his hands that had clearly been ripped straight from the wall. Cas was silent behind him though his fingers twitched nervously and he made sure there was enough distance between them that he wouldn't get hurt if Dean flipped out. It was a good choice to because when Dean reached the picnic table he threw the radio to the ground with enough force that it shattered. Everyone at the table froze like dears caught in headlights, Dean rushed over ready to start throwing punches if he couldn't make his future self calm down.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" He growled grabbing Cassidy's arm and flinging her away from the group of now semi-terrified women. "Did I do something that made you think it was okay to talk to demons?" Cassidy's eyes instantly turned to Cas, who took another step away from the furious man. "You knew about this?"

"He doesn't understand Dean." Cassidy finally fumbled out. "I tried to explain it to him-"

"Explain what?" He shoved her making her stumble, Dean started towards them knowing the situation was getting out of hand but Cas placed a hand flat against his chest and pushed him back.

"Don't get involved."

"What am I supposed to tell him?" She gulped, wanting to yell and scream like Dean but knowing things were about to get ugly.

"You're supposed to tell your goddamn brother that David's been dead for years and that's a fucking demon he's talking to."

"Well if it's so damn easy why don't you do it?" He saw Dean's fingers curl into a fist, saw him raise his hand back and before Dean could move Cas was already between the two his fingers wrapped around Dean's wrist who's fist had been inches away from colliding into Cas's temple

"Hey, it's okay." Cas said soothingly his thumb rubbing circles against Dean's palm while his other arm reached behind him and pushed Cassidy farther away. "Why don't we go back inside? We can talk."

Dean yanked his wrist away, shoving Cas forcibly back before storming away from the group and yelling "Everyone in this damn camp is insane."

"You told him." Cassidy hissed as soon as Dean had slammed the door behind him.

"No, I didn't." He turned to her his eyes set in a hard glare and his body tense. "I told you months ago to _stop_."

Dean watched the two argued standing awkwardly next the group of girls sitting at the picnic table. It didn't take long for Cassidy to throw her hands up in the air, declare how stubborn Cas was and storm off.

Dean thought it was over.

Cas knew it wasn't.

And I wasn't even a full twenty four hours later when Cas cornered Dean outside the kitchen, pushed him against the wall and shoved his hand down his pants, Dean completely forgot all about yesterdays events. Instead he concentrated on not tripping over his own feet as Cas pushed him back towards his cabin without taking his lips off Dean. The beads in Cas doorway jingled past Dean almost in unison with Cas yanking down Dean's zipper.

"Damn it." Cas grumbled pulling away once they reached the bed and found Rebecca sitting with her legs crossed lotus style her eyes closed despite the two man shooting death glares at her. "Sorry Rebecca, orgies are only on Tuesday."

"They're gone Cas." She took a deep breath in her hands on her stomach as if she was pushing and pulling the air in and out of her lungs.

"And you can't meditate in your own bed because?"

"All gone." She sighed her hands sliding down to her knees.

"I heard you the first time."

"Dean isn't happy."

"Dean's never happy." Cas was getting impatient his pants still unbearable tight and the sound of Dean's moans fresh in his mind. "In fact he'll still be unhappy in a couple hours when we're done."

"The drawer." Rebecca cracked open an eye a tiny smile formed on her lips. "Check the drawer."

Cas rolled his eyes but humored her and reached behind Dean to the first drawer of his nightstand. There wasn't a clinking of bottles or the rattling of pills, it was completely empty and Dean was ready for Cas to flip out when he saw his precious stash was gone. Instead he shrugged and pointed to the door a grin spread across his face. It wasn't the first time Dean took his fix away, it wouldn't last long, it never was. Rebecca rolled off the bed and she wasn't even out the door before Cas threw Dean on the bed.

But then when they were done the first thing Cas did was reach into the empty drawer.

He laughed about it but before they left he checked every nook and cranny of his cabin for anything Dean might have missed.

Two hours later he had ripped the kitchen apart.

Dean tried to distract him, taking him back to his bed and using every trick in his book to keep his mind off how his body was starting to twitch.

He woke up alone. He could he hear the fight from form halfway across camp. He found the two of them in Dean's Cabin, Cas shaking till his teeth chattered and Dean holding a small orange bottle of pills.

"This isn't funny." Cas rasped using a chair to keep his weak legs from collapsing beneath him. "Give it back."

"You don't looks so good." For some reason Dean doubted there was any sympathy in those words. They barely acknowledged Dean walking into the cabin Cas barely even flinched when he put a hand on his shoulder.

"Dean, _please_."

"Come on man, I don't like this anymore then you do but you can't have Cas going into withdrawal when there are Croats everywhere."

"Stay out of this."

"Just give me the fucking pills!"

"No."

"You stupid little bitch." Cas hissed stepping forward only managing to get in a few steps before his knees gave out and he tumbled into Dean's arms. "I'll tell him. I swear to God if you don't give them back I'll tell him all about Lucifer."

"Fuck you." Cas let out a bitter laugh and pulled himself closer to Dean resting his forehead in the crook of his neck.

"That's what I have him for." Dean hadn't even registered Cas's words before he felt the sudden sting of a fist slamming against his jaw. He watched himself lean over him, swearing and laying punch after punch down on the younger man. Still dazed from the first hit he didn't react till the fourth punch hit him square in the eye and he grabbed the other Dean's shoulders, flipped them over and elbowed him right across his nose.

Cas didn't notice the struggle. Cas was to busy staring at the tiny green pills that were scattered across the floor. The bottle had flown out of Dean's hand when he lunged at his younger self, it bounced twice and the top popped open spilling the capsules across the floor. A small part of his brain told him to look away, that someone was in trouble and he should help but then felt his hands twitch and his heart fluttered till he was his knees scooping the pills up of the floor and into his mouth. He bit into them spilling the sour powder onto his tongue before swallowing, knowing it'd work faster this way. He sighed and slumped against the bed frame behind him, he felt the drugs burn away his nerve endings, his heart slowed down, his eyes fluttered closed and the other men's shouts turned into dull ringing in his ears. He didn't have a care in the world as he let himself slip into a haze.

Except someone was shaking him trying to rouse him from the peaceful fog. It was Dean but Cas didn't know what Dean, he was rough like his Dean but Cas thinks his voice is full worry like the young Dean.

"Damn it Cas!" He wants to wake up, he really does because he realizes it's his Dean just by the way he says his name and that he's concerned. And when does Dean ever care? He should tell him he'll be okay, that he didn't get to the pills that had slid under the bed. He'll be okay, Dean just has to wait a few hours except he knows he won't because when things get tough Dean leaves. It was always Sam that left, but now he's gone and Dean needs to pick up where his brother left off.

"I gave up everything for you." He gasps out not having enough breath in his lungs Cas thinks maybe he forgot to breath. He tried to hold onto his shoulder instead jagged nails pull down against the raised skin of the burn he'd once left on Dean. "Why can't…why can't you just…"

Blood dripped onto Cas's face as he passed out, falling down from Dean's bloody nose. He let go of Cas, whose head banged against the wood floor, Dean stood up a far off look in his eyes. He could hear the other one behind him unsure if he should help the fallen angel and risk getting close to Dean. "There's bottled water in the closet. Watch him, I don't need another dead body on my hands."

Then he left.

* * *

><p>So that was my very first sex scene ever so I apologize if it is the worst thing you've ever read...I spent like two hours reading other stories to try and make it not so sucky but it's still a first attempt...<p>

Also i'm finding it a little difficult writing with two Deans. I mean for me it's easy because i know who I'm writing about but if it's confusing you guys let me know and I'll work on that. Any suggestions on how to fix this problem?


	6. Chapter 6

**So I've totally decided to recommend songs for all my chapters because I love it when others do it and nothing's better then mood music.**

**Sober- Pink Samson- Regina Spektor**

Cas was out for a good six hours, Dean had moved him to the bed and waited for him to wake up. Just because he was awake though didn't mean the pills had worn off, he had diamonds in his eyes and was flying like a kite. Dean had been fairly certain that for the first hour or so Cas didn't even know he was on the room. Cas had walked right past him made for the closet and grabbed a box of chalk. He took a long unused stick, fell to his knees and dragged the chalk across the hard wooden floor. Dean probably should have told Cas that they needed the chalk for devil traps and such but then he remembered that he didn't really care what his future self thought. It didn't take long to figure out what Cas was drawing, he had shaped out a pair of wings then began to draw hundreds of tiny fluffy feathers. By the time it was done half the box was empty and Cas handy where a dusty white. He lied down between his two drawings and sighed his hands stretched out over the chalk lines.

"I wish I was bigger." Dean remained silent unsure if Cas was talking to him, till Cas's head flopped to the side and locked eyes with him. "This is where you say 'don't ever change Cas'"

"You doing okay? Do you need water?"

"Do you think Lucifer will let me have my wings back in hell?" Cas grinned and rubbed his arms up and down like he was making a snow angel but only smudged his chalk wings.

"Cas...you're not going to hell."

"Of course I am. I have nowhere else to go."

"Cas-"

"You think I'm cute." He pushed himself up and stared at the ceiling "but I'm all ugly on the inside. It's all black and gooey like tar."

"Still on cloud nine?" The other Dean's gruff voice sounded from the door way. Cas broke out on a large grin, his arms lifted up and reached for him like a toddler reaches for his mother. "Why don't you go get a supplies report from Chuck."

"You know every time you two are alone together all hell breaks loose."

"From forth the fatal loins of these two foes, a pair of star-cross'd lovers take their life." Cas sighed happily raising to his knees and wrapped his arms around Dean's waist who gave a smug grin to his younger self.

"Doesn't seem like he has any complains kid."

"He's high."

"He's _always_ high." He ran his fingers through Cas's messy hair, though it lacked any tenderness or sentiment. "Cas, what do you think?"

"I like Dean." He nuzzled his cheek against Dean stomach, his shirt raising and falling with each movement showing the ugly scar that disappeared past his belt, an injury the younger Dean hadn't received yet.

"I think I know myself well enough, to know you're up to something."

"Can't a guy visit an old friend without getting the third degree?"

"Thy friendship oft has made my heart to ache: do be my enemy for friendship's sake." Cas sighed again his eyes fallen shut and his grip on Dean tightened. "You can go now, Dean's here."

"You heard him." Dean had always been a pro at self-abuse, drinking, one night stands, how he blamed himself for basically everything that ever went wrong. But he'd never wanted to literal punch himself right in the face before and the only thing that made him bite back his anger was that he was sure Cas would freak out again. He couldn't believe Cas was choosing _him _over Dean, he wanted to yell _are you crazy? Las night this guy abandoned you and you go crawling back_. Dean heard the other him chuckle behind him right before the slammed the door, the others outside the cabin all turned around and stared. He flipped them off and stormed over to Chuck's cabin making the skittish man squeal when he burst through the door.

"I uh…um…"

"Shut up Chuck. Give me the supplies list." Dean barked eager to get back and shove the stupid piece of paper in his future self's face and tell him to screw off.

"I don't…I don't have a list. It's um, it's all-"

"Damn it, then make a list, it's not rocket science." Chuck jumped at his harsh tone and scrambled to his desk spilling a bottle of ink when he reached for a pad of paper. He tried to act like it didn't happen even as the thick ink started to drip off the top and onto the floor.

"h-here." Chuck stuttered and flinched when Dean ripped the list from his hand and left him to clean up the puddle that had formed.

Dean had planned on kicking the door open, throwing the other him out and wait for Cas to sober up so he could explain things like self-control, self-respect and other chick stuff he'd obviously forgot to educate him on when he went human. But his future self was already walking out the door, yanking his arms back into the sleeves of his coat. "You can go in now. I'm done with him."

Dean pushed passed him ignoring the twisted smile on his face. He found Cas lying face down and half naked on the bed, jeans undone and not completely pulled back up all the way, but Dean had expected that. It was the half full bottle of rum and empty yellow container on the nightstand that made his blood boil. Cas hummed his long arm reached over and pushed the old pill bottle across the nightstand sending it rolling over to the rum which in turn rolled it back to Cas's shaking fingers. Dean remembered the bulge in Dean's pocket when he come in, he remembered the way he held one side of his jacket closed as if it concealed something.

"You son of a bitch!" Dean screamed out the door leaving Cas's laughing form behind him. He didn't have to look far, the other Dean had waited at the bottom on the stairs, arms folded over his chest and smiled like he'd just won something. Dean grabbed the man by his collar and shoved him against the semi rotted wood wall and repeated with a sneer "You son of a bitch."

"Hey, watch it, she's your mom to." Dean sent a first flying at the laughing man who grabbed the fist and quickly shoved his knee into Dean's stomach. "Calm down."

"Why?" Dean wheezed out still bent over in pain.

"Because." He looked down at the younger him and tried to remember a time he was so stupid. "Because you needed to see, because you need to _know_. You put pills in front of Cas, he's going to take them. Booze, pot, needles, _all _of it, there's nothing he won't take. It doesn't matter if he'd been clean for a month, it doesn't matter if he has a mission the next day, it doesn't even mater if he's about to overdose, he'll take anything."

"So you just feed his habit? Are you blind, that boy _loves_ you."

"He's a whore, Dean." Dean tried to push himself back to his feet but received a swift kick to the side for his efforts. "Seriously he'll spread his legs for anyone. You keep acting like he's this damn wounded bird you can fix. But he doesn't have wings and he doesn't have morals and you can act like I'm the bad guy here but the only reason he's even alive is because of me."

"He's alive because he's a fighter and that has nothing to do with us."

"What the fuck do you know? _Us_? There's no _us_. I was the one that's been with him for four straight years. I'm the one that dragged him out of crack houses, I'm the one that spent weeks looking for him all over Chicago when he started _selling_ himself, I'm the one that talked him out of splattering his brains all over the wall when he couldn't take it anymore."

Dean stared up at his own face, twisted with rage and hardened with disgust. He was speechless at the older man's words, he struggled to comprehend them and prayed that they were lies.

"You can't change any of it either, it's too late, he's already rebelled it's all down hill from there."

* * *

><p>Cas was zipping back and forth his bare feet padded softly against the hard wood floor. His eyes were impossibly wide, his pupils blown out of proportion, red creeping over the white edges. Dean stood in the center of the room and watched Cas dart around, the present Dean's words still weighed heavily on his mind. He could hear Cas whispering something to himself, it wasn't English and it sounded harsh like he was angry a something. Cas gripped his head, tugging at his dark hair and growled, a deep rumble that reminded Dean of the sound the Croats made when they were hungry.<p>

"What did you take Cas?" Dean mumbled and placed his hands on Cas's shoulders feeling the scorching heat of his skin. Cas flinched, lifted his head and looked out the window too afraid to meet Dean's gaze. "What did Dean give you?"

"I don't uh" he looked around dazedly. "Nothing, I didn't take anything." He lied.

"Because you seem pretty fucked up." Cas smiled at him and leaned in closer pressing his lips gently against Dean's. Cas pushed Dean back until his back hit the wall then pressed himself against him, his hands roaming under Dean's shirt and his lips finding his neck. Dean moaned lifting his hand into Cas's hair to pull him closer to himself, knowing that Cas was out of his mind and only trying to distract Dean but the knowledge didn't make him want Cas any left. "God Castiel." He groaned.

Suddenly Cas jumped back like Dean had burned him, he stumbled to the other side of the room. "They're out there." He stuttered and pointed to the window beside Dean. Dean grabbed his gun turned to the window ready to face a stampede of Croats but only found an empty yard. He looked a Cas who had curled up in a corner, legs pressed against his chest, head tucked between his knees.

"Cas, there's no one out there..."

"My brothers," he chocked out "they've come back." Dean's heart almost shattered at the broken wreck before him. He didn't understand how it could have ever gotten this bad, how he could have let Castiel fall so far. He tried to remember Castiel's awkward smile, they way his blue eyes narrowed when he was confused, how he was powerful and self-assured. He couldn't imagine how that could turn into the man before him, who had tears streaming down his cheeks, high out of his mind and still bruised with his Dean's fingerprints..

"The angels are gone Castiel." He sat on the bed trying not to get too close to the fallen angel Dean needed to keep his head clear and calm Cas down. Cas peeked out from under his hands, Dean could only make out the faintest hint of a bitter smile on his face.

"They're going to take me to hell." He muttered. "I've done bad things. They're going to take me to hell. They'll torture me, Hell is _hot_. Then I'll be a demon, you won't rescue me like I rescued you." Castiel turned around to look at Dean but still remained curled up in the corner. "Then I'll be just as ugly on the outside as I am on the inside."

"Cas no..." He was unsure what to say, he just stared dumbly at Cas. He remembered the hot flames of hell licking at his skin, the pain that never stopped, the demons that laughed and taunted you as they tore you to shreds, he couldn't fathom anyone wanting to go down there. And Cas thought Dean would just leave him there and forget all about him. "Cas I'm not going to let anything happen to you."

"You're nice. When did you stop being nice?"

"About the time they cancelled Dr. Sexy." A cheery voice rang from the doorway; Dean turned and saw a small group of people were pushing inside. A man grinned over at Cas, Dean tried to remember his name, he thought maybe it was Johnny.

"We're busy." Dean stood in front of Johnny when he started walking over to Cas.

"Whoa no point getting protective now _Dean_." Johnny's smile waivered for a second, the way he said Dean's name filled him with guilt for some reason. "We know what to do."

"He's right, this is a typical Thursday for us." Rebecca twisted a water bottle open the same airy expression plastered across her face as before. "You should go, being around you agitates him."

"Don't worry, no orgies." Mark chuckled carrying a small electric keyboard with April close behind lugging a generator. "We're just gonna calm him down before he tries to scratch his eyes out again."

"Again?"

"Uh ya he, he get's frustrated…" Chuck trailed off and gulped when he saw Dean's glare. "It's not like I _want_ to be here."

"I'm not leaving."

"Just wait outside." Chuck whispered looking at the others who were forming a circle, sitting shoulder to shoulder. "It won't take long."

Dean looked over at Cas who stared up a him with wide unblinking eyes. He wanted to tell all the crazy hippies to fuck of, that he could handle it, but then Cas raised up twitchy fingers which inched closer and closer to his eyes till Johnny pushed his hand back down. "Okay fine whatever."

A chorus of giggles exploded from the small group as Dean marched out of the cabin. He sat down beneath the window refusing to go any farther, he heard the sound of someone playing the old keyboard. The volume wasn't constant, the sound cut out every dozen seconds and some keys were obviously out of tune. "You are my sweetest downfall, I loved you first." Rebecca's voice ranged out soft and airy like a slow breeze. "I loved you first. Beneath the stars came fallin' on our heads, but they're just old light"

"I don't know how you put up with Dean," Johnny huffed "if he talked to me like that I'd deck him"

"He's not so bad now." Cas let out this dreamy sigh "The first time I ever saw Dean Winchester he was ripping the lungs out of this little girl. Couldn't have been more then 16 maybe 17, I bet she sold her soul for some boy in her chemistry class, and man could she scream." There was a sudden silence in the room as they processed what he had just said.

"What did you do?"

"I saved him. I gripped him tight and raised him from perdition." He laughed and slapped chuck on his back like they were sharing some inside joke. "Do you hear them Chuck? They're outside."

"That must have been hard." One of the girls whispered changing he subject before Cas started shooting out the window at whoever had the misfortune of being outside

"No saving him from hell was easy, watching him drifting away was the hard part." The girls sighed almost simultaneously at what they must have thought was some romantically tragic love story. Cas never really talked about what happened when Dean was in the pit. Dean mostly just remembered pieces towards the end when he only had a stitch of humanity keeping him from becoming a demon. He didn't remember ever seeing Cas and had only a vague memory of the girl he had mentioned. He tried to be angry at him for sharing Dean's dirty laundry to a bunch of strangers but he guessed Cas didn't really have anyone else to talk to. Cas was used to taking care of everyone else, watching out for Sam, researching with Bobby, rescuing Dean countless times. In fact he had gotten so good at taking care of Dean he never learned to take care of himself

"Samson came to my bed, told me that my hair was red. Told me I was beautiful and came into my bed." Rebecca's voice sounded uninterrupted oblivious to the serious subject matter.

"I lost my virginity to this song." Cas breathed Dean could hear him tapping random keys alongside Rebecca.

"We know." They all laughed.

"It was September eighteenth." Johnny said.

"Exactly three years after you brought Dean back from hell."

"Except this time it was Dean that gripped you tight."

"I wrote about it in my 28th book." Chuck let out a small laugh but everyone else drew silent.

"Too far Chuck."

"That's gross."

"I'd like to read that book." Cas busted out laughing. "Perhaps it will refresh my memories."

"Oh I cut his hair myself one night, a pair of dull scissors in the yellow light and he told me that I'd done alright and kissed me 'til the mornin' light."

"I knew Samson, he was a large man, his wife was a liar."

"So Dean used to like you." Someone prodded and Castiel hummed in agreement.

"Yes, not at first I suppose, I was a bit of an ass." He giggled. "But eventually ya, I guess he liked me a lot."

"Oh, we couldn't bring the columns down. Yeah we couldn't destroy a single one. And history books forgot about us, and the bible didn't mention us. Not even once." The music began to fade out as the song finished.

"So what happened?"

"Life."


	7. Chapter 7

"You're jealous." Cas grinned up at Dean and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.

"Of that asshole?" Dean snorted yanking his zipper back up.

"Look at your eyes all green with envy." Cas hummed falling back onto the hard floor. Dean stood over him and Cas could see the tiniest of smiles tug at his lips.

"If he was so great you wouldn't be here." Dean offered Cas his hand but the man looked at it wearily expecting Dean to yank it away before he could grab it. "Don't be so paranoid."

Cas grabbed hold of Dean's hand and allowed him to pull him to his feet. He leaned in to kiss Dean but was stopped short but a hand shoving his face away. "Screw off, I'm not kissing you after you've just had a mouthful of jizz."

"You never kiss me." Cas pouted and marched off to the door before Dean pulled him back.

"Stay." Dean ordered pulling Cas's back tight against his chest and wrapped his arms around his shoulders. "I'll skip patrol, I'll spend the whole day with you."

"No you won't." Dean bit down on Cas's neck making him moan and arch back into him. "You never skip patrol. You'll fuck me once and leave."

"What do you care?" He laughed, let go of Cas and tossed his jacket on a near by chair. Cas turned around and watched Dean lay down on the bed, debating if he should follow him or not. "You can go if want."

He didn't.

He staid. Even though the sun was rising and he already had a Dean in his bed, who'd be waking up soon and wonder where he was. He chucked his clothes off and made his way over to Dean, who gripped his waist and flung him on his back. "He's going to leave you know."

"Ya he mentioned that." Dean mumbled and dragged his tongue down Cas's neck.

"He'll leave, then you won't have anything to be jealous over. You'll ignore me again."

"I'm here now."

* * *

><p>"Can we talk?"<p>

"You know that is fifteenth time you've asked me that."

"Privately." Dean ignored Cas and motioned over to Rebecca who was tuning an obviously unsalvageable guitar.

"Don't mind Rebecca. She's off in her own little world." Cas pushed his foot against her shoulder forcing her to lean to the left but she never stopped even looked up from her guitar.

"Oh as I watched him on the stage my hands were clenched in fists of rage." She sang then frowned at the sound of the worn strings out of tune and dull. She fiddled a bit more, Cas foot still pushing her to the side, and tried again. "No angel born in hell, could break that Satan's spell."

"See as far as she knows we're not even here." He grinned letting Rebecca resume an upright position and walking over to Dean. "So why don't we do something productive with our time."

Cas tried to pull Dean over to the bed, his hands roamed up Dean's shirt and his lips found the sweet spot on his neck. Dean grabbed hold of Cas's shirt and shoved him away "Where were you this morning?"

"I was out."

"Bullshit."

"Dean." Castiel whined trying to pull Dean back to him. "Can we not do this now?"

"You know you spend all day bitching about how he treats you like crap, but you just keep going back."

"Of course I do." Cas slapped Dean's hands of him and fell back onto the bed his arms spread wide over the mattress. "I've given you everything, now that's all I have left to give."

That caught Dean of guard, he had expected Cas to lie or make excuses but that was messed up, except it wasn't because that was a perfectly normal thing to say in 2014. True to Cas's word Rebecca remained totally oblivious to their fight and continued singing.

"I saw Satan laughing with delight." Her fingers continued to dance over the string but she didn't finish the song like she'd forgotten then words. Her brows furrowed and she looked up at Dean. "I have a message for you."

"Great why don't you go tell it to the ass hole who's out yelling at everything that moves."

"No." She paused nervously strumming his guitar. "It's an old message...I should tell it to you your much closer to the you I was supposed to tell."

"I'm sure the other Dean would love to hear it." Cas grumbled and curled onto his side.

"It's very important."

"Who's it from."

"Hm I'm not supposed to say." She hummed and began to pluck the strings in tune with 'Mary had a little lamb'. That certainly got Cas's attention and he pushed himself off the bed and went to stand by Dean though he kept his distance staying just out of reach.

"Who is it?"

"Sssss." She hissed out forgetting the name or unsure if she should say it "Sam."

"What?"

"How?"

"I was in Detroit." She lowered her eyes and turned the knobs on her guitar loosening and tightening the string arbitrarily. "It was ugly, there were demons and monsters and we couldn't leave."

"The hostages. You were one of hostages Lucifer used to lure Sam out of hiding." Cas bent down on knee and shook her shoulder slightly. "Rebecca why are you just saying this now?"

"I…It took me a long time to get here. Dee made sure I'd remember the message, I tried really hard, but when I got here you yelled at me."

"Who the hell is Dee?"

"Imaginary friend." Cas clarified waving a hand behind him to remind Dean to calm down. Rebecca's head shot up, her eyes set in a cold glare and Cas resounded by patting her shoulder. "Not imaginary, we just can't see her."

"You're fucking kidding me. My brother tried to send me a message and you think you can keep it from me because I got mad at you."

Rebecca sucked in a sharp breath Cas prepared himself for an ear piercing scream but she just gripped the side of her head and tightly closed her eyes. "Rebecca come on this is important. Dean's sorry, aren't you Dean."

"Screw you." He snapped. Cas shot him a glare over his shoulder and Dean slowly counted to ten in his head before he let himself speak again. "Very sorry."

"Every thinks I'm crazy, I'm not, I used to be very smart. I have a PhD from Harvard and-"

"Of course you do." Cas patronized grabbing hold of her hands and pried them out of the death grip they had on the side of the guitar. "Now tell us what happened okay? When you were in Detroit, the demons kept you all in the city hall right?"

"Yes…" She nodded her head gently rocked back and forth as she tried to remember. "In the basement at first, then they moved us, said they were going to put on a show."

"Okay, very good, but what did Sam say."

"There was an angel, only not really an angel-"

"Lucifer."

"No…No but she was talking to Lucifer. Talking about nasty things, Leviathan, beasts and the horsemen's army .She said everything was wrong, that there couldn't be an apocalypse without her daddy there"

"Sure, I'm sure that was all very scary but Sam-"

"_This is wrong, this is not our Father's plan._

**Well if he had any problems with it he'd stop me wouldn't he? Now why don't you go flutter off little sister with the rest of the angels. I still have work to do.**

_We will leave Lucifer, it will be just you and Castiel, every one of us will abandon you._

**Just leave Castiel to me, I'll take care of him and his little hunter.**" Rebecca's voice was squeaky at first then dipped down several octaves when she tried to impersonate the devil. Dean could see Cas tense up when Rebecca said his name but he didn't say anything only gripped the girl harder and urged her to continue.

"Skip all that, just focus on Sam."

"_You are Sam Winchester and you should not be here_." She repeated looking up, her eyes darting back and forth. "Dee had heard of him, she told him to leave."

"The message, Rebecca."

"_There's a camp, it's not there now but trust me in a few months there will be My brother, Dean, will be there. Just…just tell him I had to do this, tell him…_" She trailed off and her hands released the guitar, the instrument slid off her lap and clunking against the ground. "I don't remember the rest."

"What do you mean you don't remember the rest?" Dean growled dropping down next to Cas. "You damn well better remember."

"It was a long time ago." She said her voice almost slipped into a whimper.

"Then maybe you should have said it when you first got to the damn camp-"

"Rebecca shouldn't you be helping to make dinner." Cas interrupted, stood up and pulled Rebecca onto her feet and leading her out of his cabin. Dean staid frozen on the ground hot rage pulsing through his blood while Cas started to rifle through his closet. The bottle he found had warmed up in the summer heat but it was a cheap brand anyways, it taste like shit boiling hot or freezing cold. He went back over to Dean and held the bottle out to him, then forcibly put it in his hand when Dean didn't move. "Life sucks Dean"

When Cas realized that Dean was going to be greedy and hog all the rum for himself Cas reached behind his Buddha statue and pulled out an old bottle of gin. They clinked together the tops of the bottle and down the contents in an almost competition of who can go the longest without air.

* * *

><p>"Then Dean shot at the propane tank like a hot version of Bruce Willis and the whole building was like BOOM! PCHU!" Cas mimicked, his fingers curled in and pushed out to imitate fireworks and explosions.<p>

"Uh, I thought you said there were people in that building?"

"Oh ya, like a dozen at least, but being blown ups a lot nicer then being Croat food." Cas wobbled a bit and leaned against the rough bark of a tree to steady himself. Dean swallowed the rest of his rum and reached over to help steady Cas but at the last minute went for the bottle of gin in his hand. "No! This one's mine, go find your own."

"I thought you would give up everything for me." If they'd both been sober Dean would have probably felt bad for saying that. But as it were Cas just laughed and pushed Dean away from him, wrapped his lips around the bottle and took a big gulp. "So it's the end of the world and I'm out of booze, what else is there to do?"

"I can think of a thing or two." Cas raised his eyebrows and grinned. Dean laughed but was a little unnerved a how often Cas's mind turned to sex, like a dog with a bone, which Dean realized was a poor chose of words. "We could play tag."

"Tag?"

"Ya I'll run away and you chase after me."

"I know what tag is, why would we play tag half drunk."

"Change of pace." Cas shrugged.

"I'm not playing tag."

"Of course you won't. Dean Winchester doesn't chase after anybody." Dean flinched at the comment though it didn't seem like Cas meant it as a shot, just a statement of fact. "I bet Sam's worry about you, Sam worried about you a lot before he died."

"Dean said they hadn't talked in-"

"Five years, that's right." Cas nodded. "I called him every week, let him know you hadn't done anything stupid."

Cas goes oddly quiet after that, it must have been a sensitive topic for Cas, back in Dean's time Cas only knew three people and now two of them were dead. "Sam will be fine."

"It must be nice to have a brother like Sam." Cas walked away from Dean, towards and old picnic table and took another drink from the quickly emptying liquor bottle. Dean followed close behind and nearly bumped into Cas when he suddenly stopped and shouted up at the sky. "My only brother's a narcissistic genocidal ass!"

"Cas, keep it down." Dean put a hand on Cas shoulder but he shrugged it off and climbed on to the picnic table with shaky legs.

"The fucks wrong with you Lucifer? It's just you and me now, I thought you said you'd take care of me brother." Cas chugged back the rest of the gin then slammed the glass into a thousands pieces on the ground. "Well I'm pretty fucked up and you're MIA. Five years, you don't come see me, you don't call, I don't even get a post card."

"Get of the table Cas." Dean knew it wouldn't be long before the future Dean wandered outside to check on the noise. When he turned and saw him he was surprised to see him looking calm, Dean had expected the man to break Cas's jaw if he heard him talking to or about Lucifer. Instead he leaned against the tree they had just left, hands shoved into his pockets and almost bored look on his face.

"Who started all this Dean, I forget sometimes. Kristina or Celine? I'd like to think I fucked Celine first, there has to be a reason you treat me like shit. Deep down there's got to be a heart broken little boy pissed of his boyfriend cheated on him."

"It doesn't matter, we were screwed up long before any of that."

"You really don't care do you? I get high, drink, fuck, anything to get a reaction out of you, but you just don't care. It's like you're not even there." They stared at each other, both daring the other to back down first. Then Dean looked away and snorted, he turned and left without another word. "Bastard."

"You okay?"

"Peachy." Cas grinned and Dean let out a sigh of relief that Cas didn't suddenly crumble like broken glass. Cas gave him an amused look like he knew what Dean was thinking, grabbed the ends of his jacket and pulled him close. "It's fine, you're bendy-er then he is."

"Damn it Cas." Dean muttered his cheeks flushing a faint red. "Why do you say shit like that?"

"It gets a reaction out of you."

* * *

><p>Cassidy pretended to cut up soggy carrots but was intently watching the scene outside, sure that Dean might snap Cas's neck when he heard him yelling on top of the table. But he just walked away, he didn't yell, he didn't throw out an insult or punch, just turned and walked away.<p>

"It's sad those two never worked out." Rebecca hummed opening a can of tuna and dumping it in shiny metal bowl.

"The apocalypse isn't really a great time for romance." She finished the last carrot and left the diced vegetable for Rebecca to figure out what to do with them. She pulled of the dirty apron she was wearing off and dropped it on a chair before she turned to leave.

"Demons make deals Cassidy." She paused at the door and turned to look at Rebecca who was reaching for another can to open.

"What?"

"Demons make deals." She repeated and licked tuna juice off her thumb. "So I wonder what you made a deal with."

"I-" She stuttered and closed the door tightly behind her and looked out the window to make sure Dean and Cas weren't in hearing distance. "What are you talking about?"

"I know your secret." She giggled and looked over her shoulder at the blonde who stiffened under her gaze.

"You don't know anything."

"Dee told me, she knew lots of things." Cassidy relaxed when Dee was mentioned, Rebecca was crazy and was grasping at straws to try and get on Cassidy's nerves.

"Well if you know so much why didn't you ever say anything?" She asked smugly trying to stump the humming girl.

"Well…" Rebecca's lip puckered in concentration as she thought of her answer. "I didn't think you'd go blabbing it to Dean on your first ever drug trip."

"I guess I'll just have to leave the drugs to you, Cas and all the other idiots at camp." She turned to leave again, confident that Rebecca was talking nonsense.

"You're nice to Dean. No one else thinks you're nice to him, but if anyone else talked to you like he does, there'd be hell to pay." Cassidy hand paused on the door knob and she thought, ya there was probably something to that statement but nothing a keen observer wouldn't see. "You're nice because you feel sorry for him. Because you feel _guilty_."

"This is, uh-this is getting a little weird."

"You think if he ever found out, the last tiny bit of his sanity would snap and he'd go all '_I tortured people in hell_' on you." Rebecca was saying a whole not of nothing, she didn't hint at Cassidy's so called secret only speculated of how Cassidy felt. "It's not him you'd have to worry about, it's Cas who would drag you to the gates of perdition himself."

"You don't know what you're talking about." Cassidy snapped and Rebecca face split into a wide smile when she sees the dark look on Cassidy's face. Cassidy throws open the door and stormed out, she shoved Cas out of the way as she rushed over to her cabin throwing her arms up and shouting. "Dean's right, everyone here is fucking insane!"

"Whoa." Cas grumbled, pulled Dean closer to him and watched the blonde slam her cabin door. "Touchy."


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Song: All Of Everything. Erased - Kevin Devine**

Dean was supposed to be learning something and it had to be something important for Zachariah to send him to the future. Dean was sure what ever he was supposed to figure out he wasn't going to find in Cas's bed but since he was never allowed out on patrol there was literally nothing else to do. He had tried helping out making the camps meals but Cassidy and Rick had politely told him the camp had enough problems without Dean adding food poisoning to the list. He had every gun cleaned in one afternoon and Cas showed up not long after that, Dean chose to not question where he'd been because he wasn't a jealous sixteen year old girl and Cas hadn't taken anything since he woke up so he didn't want to push him.

"You still awake?" He asked the mass of unkempt hair and pale skin that was lying on his chest.

"Just five more minutes." Cas mumbled, tightening his hold around the hunter.

"What do you think Sam's doing right now?" Cas mumbled something into Dean's skin, to soft for him to hear and Dean nudged him till he lifted himself up onto his elbows.

"You mean _your_ Sam." He shrugged. "Probably frantically looking for you, threatening Crowley to either find away to bring you back or face his giant-sized wrath."

"Crowley? Is that like an angel or something?"

"No he's an ass, don't let that accent fool you he'll stab you in the back first chance he gets." Dean groaned, half because the last thing he needed was another enemy and half because Cas started nipping at the crook of his neck. "Ready for round nine?"

"As much as I'd love to spend all of Armageddon distracting you, I still need to eat every few hours." Cas huffed and rolled off of Dean, snuggling into the pillow instead. Dean pulled his clothes on and said goodbye to Cas but he was already asleep. He made his way to the kitchen, his muscle were sore from spending so much time in Cas's too soft bed. There was a kids size box of Cocoa Puffs in the very back of the cupboard, he ate it dry because powdered milk tasted like crap and the bits were stale but he had come to realize everything in the camp was. Cas of course was right where Dean left him and after he'd chucked the cereal box in the trash, Dean stripped off his shirt and threw it behind him ready for another round with Cas.

"Dude, I'm right here." Dean jumped and spun around to find his future self sitting in a chair, leaning back with his feet perched on top of Buddha's head.

"I thought you were on patrol, Chuck said we need more canned foods."

"Came back early."

"Look I'm kinda busy-"

"I noticed." He pointed over to the sleeping Cas. "Takes a lot to tire that slut out."

"I've had enough of you." Dean walked over to the man in the chair and growled feeling the last of his patience snap.

"Just a joke man, don't take it personally." He reached into his jacket and pulled out a bowie knife, Dean tensed and took a step back but the other him just chuckled. "Calm down."

He reached into his coat again and pulled out a sharpening stone, ran it over his knife and started to whistle ignoring the twin that stood beside him. "If you're trying to intimidate me, it's not going to work."

"Hm, so let me guess." He smirked, focusing on the sound of the knife running against the black stone. "You're completely convinced that I'm the bad guy here, the jerk that uses people and only cares about himself."

"Aren't you?" Dean crossed his arms over his bare chest.

"No, I'm not." He glanced up at his younger self and paused the knife briefly half way up the stone. "You are."

"Why the hell do you think that?" He snapped, Cas groaned behind him and pulled the blanket up over his head but didn't wake. The two of them looked at the bed waiting to make sure he was still asleep before continuing. "Where do you get off blaming me for any of this?"

"I'll admit I'm not the nicest guy when it comes to Cas-"

"Understatement." Dean snorted.

"But _I'm_ not going anywhere. Cas can always say no to me, I never show up at his door, he always comes after me. As soon as you fall asleep he comes to me and I'm sure if I weren't on patrol he'd never leave. You on the other hand, you go after him, you climb into his bed and you tell him you'll always come right back. But you won't, Zachariah is gonna zap you back to your apple pie life and you know what's going to happen then? You're going to back to _Castiel_ and forget all about Cas, in fact you've made it pretty clear you're so disgusted with him that you're going to do everything possible to make sure your precious little angel never ends up like him."

"Screw you, none of that's true. You're the one that disgusts me."

"No point arguing semantics, you are me."

"Get out." Dean growled, his fists clenched so hard his nails cut into his palms. The other Dean just shrugged took his feet off the Buddha, the chair clanked on the hard floor and he stood, pocketing the knife and stone.

"You're going to leave, we both know it, and I'll be all he has left _again_." Dean stood his ground as the man left, the beads jingling on his way out. He wanted to be angry but he knew Dean had, been mostly, telling the truth. Dean knew he wouldn't be there forever but when Cas mumbled his name in his sleep he thought _at least I'm here now_ and crawled into bed beside him.

* * *

><p>The people of 2014 had developed a survival tactic of not screaming over the little things they used to like spiders or being surprised. Screaming alerted all sorts of trouble and it was best to stay as silent as possible. People only screamed if things couldn't get any worse, they only screamed for help and it usually never came anyways. Rebecca however was not the sanest person alive and could often be heard getting upset and yelling at the top of her lungs. At least she had a very unique sound, high pitched and squeaky like a whiny baby, Cas and everyone came to recognize it and no longer rushed out prepared for an attack. So when Cas heard her screech the next morning he ignored it and went back to sleep but Dean, unused to the noise, jumped awake.<p>

"It's nothing." Cas cringed as another cry broke through the morning silence. "Trust me, it'll stop soon."

Dean looked unconvinced but laid back down, figuring Cas knew better then him but when they heard the older Dean suddenly shout as well Cas was the first to jump up and throw his clothes on. Dean was closed behind, following Cas over to were the picnic tables were set up. Chuck and Cassidy sat silently on one side of the table while Rebecca yelled down at Dean who leaned against the edge of the table. The table was covered in paper work, the three must have been going over supplies when Rebecca started freaking out.

"Give it back." She cried out, stomping her foot like a small child, her cheeks aflame with anger. "It's not yours."

"I don't know what you're talking about, why don't you go back to bed." He growled.

"You lied." Her voice dropped to a near whimper though her body was still rigid. "You said you wanted to hear me play guitar, then you took it."

The older Dean tilted his slightly his eyes narrowed and he stood up, towering over the girl. "It's not nice when people lie is it Rebecca?"

Dean saw Cas's eyes narrow, Dean wasn't surprised Cas had ratted Rebecca out to his older self but Cas must have expected him to keep the information to himself. It was unusual for Dean to start drama at the camp, he liked to keep things in order but with everything piling up he must have snapped.

"I never lied to you." She insisted. "You wouldn't have wanted to hear it anyways. Just be nice for once in your miserable existence and give it back."

"Sorry, I burned it." Chuck and Cassidy both silently slid off the bench, Cassidy quickly walked back over to the cabins while Chuck stayed to watch.

"But it's _mine-_"

"No, it's not." He interrupted. "Everything in this goddamn camp is mine. I'm the one that plans the patrols, I risk my life going into the hot zones to bring you back supplies, I spend half the night going around making sure all the wards are in place to protect you people from demons. And you keep a secret like that from me? Are you fucking stupid?"

"Hey, hey look Rebecca." Cassidy jogged back over to the pair holding a brown leather book in her hands and handed it to Rebecca. "See you have you're book back, everything's fine, just go back to your cabin."

"This is all…" Rebecca ran her fingers gently over the gold lettering that spelt out King James. "This is all your fault. Everything is as it is because you failed. The virus, the demons, _Lucifer_ none of it would have happened if you hadn't-"

She didn't finish, in less time then it took to blink Rebecca was on the ground, blood pouring out her nose and Dean standing over her. Cas barley managed a "Get her inside" before he lunged at the older Dean, just in time to stop him from landing another blow on Rebecca. Dean stared at the scene frozen in place, Rebecca gingerly touched the tips of her fingers to the bloody broken bone on her nose, Cassidy was just as shocked as Dean was staring down at the dark haired girl with her mouth gaping open in surprise, Cas and his Dean were wrestling of the ground, rolling in the dirt and fighting for dominance. "Damn it Dean! Get her inside!"

Dean didn't need to be asked again, he quickly bent over and scooped Rebecca up in his arms. Cassidy walked beside him asking the girl if she was okay and opened the cabin doors when they reached one, he didn't know who it belonged to they just walked into the closest one to hide Rebecca in incase Dean still had the urge to beat the shit out of her.

"Why would you do that?" Dean laid Rebecca down on the bed and Cassidy ran a hand over her cheek, smearing blood along the way. "Why would you say that shit to him?"

"I wasn't talking to him Cassidy." She snarled pushing the blonde away from her. Rebecca pulled the blanket up over her head and flinched away when Cassidy tried to touch her. She looked up at Dean her eyes set in such a hard glare that he thought she might think he was the one that hit her. She pointed harshly towards the door, her finger caked in dry blood and she demanded "Go."

The order confused him for a second till he remembered that Cas was still outside with the other Dean. He rushed back outside expecting blood and broken bones but instead found the older Dean sitting on the ground, leaning back on his arms and staring blankly into the distance. Cas was sprawled on his back beside him, Dean's heart skipped a beat thinking _oh God he's dead_ till he saw him take a shaky breath. He walked over slowly, the scene before him unusual, they'd both gone from zero to sixty and back again in a matter of minutes. The other him didn't even look up when Dean walked by him it was almost creepy how still he was.

Cas was just as still, his lip bloody and swollen just like his nose and his left eye was already turning a dark purple. He looked up at the sky with wide unblinking eyes, like a stunned animal that had just gotten shot. Dean dropped to one knee and reached for him but Cas suddenly _growled_ before Dean even got close. "Don't touch me."

"Cas…" Dean searched for the words to say but came up empty. Cas rolled onto his stomach and pushed himself up to his feet, paying no heed to the two Deans as he walked back to his cabin. Dean watched him walk away, didn't stop him, didn't do much but glance over at the other Dean beside him.

"I uh…I've never hit him before." His voice was slow and unsure like he wasn't totally convinced that he actually had hit Cas. "I should…feel bad or something but I don't, to be honest I don't fell much of anything now-a-days. I'm not even angry."

"Don't expect me to listen to your pity parade."

"No." He shook his head. "You think I'm using Cas, and maybe I am, but it's not because I only care about myself. Hell I could walk into an ambush of Croats and not even blink, what do I care what happens to me. Everyone looks at Cas and sees this pitiful guy I screwed up and I just don't see that. I just see this reminder of what life was like before, he's just a reminder of how bad things got. And I should probably care, but I don't"

**Okay so I know the last chapter kinda sucked...it was mostly filler and I was having writers block so hopefully this one will be better :). I also have the most awsomenest idea for a sequel and I'm super eager to get to it which means I'll be updating this story a lot more.**

**Enjoy! please R&R**


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter Song: Brother's Blood- Kevin Devine**

Cas was meditating in the center of his room, legs twisted into a pretzel, back straight and he ignored the throb of his lip and the occasional drip of blood that fell on his folded hands. He only focused on the deep breaths he took, the life giving oxygen that filled his lungs and not the sharp sting his chest made every time it stretched out with air.

"Cas." Dean's voice sounded from the doorway. A briefly feeling of hope swelled in his chest before he pushed it down, locking it up in the overflowing box of things that he'd given up on, it was only 2009 Dean. And he didn't come with apologies or promises, no this Dean only came with pity and condescendence. "Are you-"

"Shhh." He breathed out. "Can you hear the birds chirping?" Dean stilled and listened then sighed, probably wondering what Cas had taken this time. There hadn't been birds around those parts for nearly three years and Cas couldn't hear them, hadn't taken anything, but acting like he was high out of his mind made people leave him alone.

"What happened out there wasn't-"

"I'm not talking about that right now. Sit down, harmonize with me." Cas had no idea what that meant but it sounded strange enough that it made Dean stop talking. He sat down on of the pillows next to Cas quietly observing the wounds on his face. Cas didn't open his eyes so he wasn't sure if Dean was actually giving meditation a chance but he kept quiet so Cas didn't care.

"I know you don't want to talk about it but sitting there and getting all Dharma and Greg on me won't help."

"Dharma is the natural laws that govern all life and human existence." Cas took a deep breath, held it and released slowly. "And mediating is the only thing keeping me from breaking your arm."

"I'm not the one that hurt you Cas." He meant to say _I'm not the one that beat you_, because what he says has so many other connotations. _I'm not the one that beat you, I'm not the one that cheated on you, I'm not the one that got pissed off and left you alone in New York to fend for yourself for three days, I'm not that's been lying to you._ It's all so negative and emotional that it makes Cas's chest ache so he goes back to just breathing slowly in, out, in, out.

"You will be." Breath in, breath out, breath in. "Everything you ever do will twist and corrupt you and one day you'll wake up and find you're the same man you said you'd never be. All roads lead to Rome and we'll always end up right here. So there's no point in apologizing."

"Cas, come on look at me." Dean laid a hand on Cas's shoulder and something inside him just snapped. He lunged at Dean, slamming him onto the ground and he tensed expecting Cas to actually break his arm. Hands tightly curled themselves into Dean's shirt pulling him up then shoving him back down, the crack of bone against wood making Cas growl.

"Who the hell do you think you are?" Cas sneered, leaning over Dean and straddling his hips keeping him in place. "I'm not some damn pigeon with broken wings Dean. You think I just hang around all the time, following you like a lost little puppy, waiting for you to fuck once or twice a year?"

"Cas." Dean gasped out feeling the blood seep out over his hair and sticking to the floor.

"I'm not made of fucking glass, I've been alive longer then you can _imagine_. You think I'm just a worthless drug addict that screws anything that moves."

"Cas I don't-"

"Shut up!" Cas spit out slamming Dean's head into the hard wood again. "You act like this entire camp would fall apart with out you but it's all me. Who do you think listens to everyone's shit around here? Nobody would even go on patrol with you if I wasn't there every goddamned day to convince them that you wouldn't throw them to a swarm of angry Croats to save your own ass." Cas's breathing was heavy and harsh, his hands trembled in their hold on Dean. Then those hands moved, sliding down Dean's chest and up his shirt, Cas's lips closed the distance between them, forcing a hard kiss on the man below him.

"Stop it, Cas." He grunted out against Cas mouth who was quick to use the opportunity to slip his tongue past Dean's lips. He grinded his groin against Dean's hips and Dean resounded by biting down on Cas's tongue but Cas didn't miss a beat, he pulled away only long enough to move over to Dean's neck leaving a trail of kisses and bruises. "I'm serious Cas _stop_."

Dean tried to push Cas off and he wasn't sure if it was Cas's determination or his own hesitation but he just couldn't seem to muster up the strength to move the ex-angel. Cas bit down on his shoulder and he arched up feeling Cas lick up the blood that seeped out. Despite Cas's words Dean was still reluctant to push him away unsure how he'd handle the rejection. But he was even more reluctant to let all this continue, as good as Cas's hands felt on him he knew it was only an aversion tactic. It was hard to concentrate with Cas rutting against his thigh like a bitch in heat but the second time Cas bit into him snapped Dean out of his haze. "Don't."

"Stop talking." He hissed grating his nails down Dean's side, he started to squirm away but Cas pulled him back and yanked his zipper down. A cold hand reached inside Dean's jeans and that was the final straw, he grabbed hold of Cas's shoulders and flung him off he landed a few feet away with a heavy thud as his back hit the ground.

"I said no!" He climbed to his feet but Cas held still, panting and staring up at the ceiling a faint amount of blood still hung on his lips.

"Get out." Dean was sure he'd misheard him, no way Cas was telling _him_ to leave not after he'd try to force himself on the hunter. But he had, Dean didn't even know what to say to that but he was sure what ever he said was going to be loud and spiteful. A bottle flew at his head, Dean barely had time to duck before it shattered on the wall behind him "I said get out!"

* * *

><p>There's a small section of land at the very edge of camp that swells with water every time it rains, people call it 'the lake' because it probably the body of water left on earth. Francis told him that sometimes frogs showed up there just long enough to lay eggs but the water would dry up and they would all dry. Now there was only a large shallow puddle surrounded by mud.<p>

Dean sat on a wooden log, looking at the muddy water and pressing a wet cloth to the back of his head. The first thing he's going to do when he gets back is handcuff himself to Sam so he'll never be out of his sight again. Then he's going to punch Castiel in his stupid face, he'll probably break his hand and Castiel won't feel it but it will make him feel a hell of a lot better.

It's quiet where he is and he'd like to stay there till Zachariah comes to pick him up but he could be waiting a damn long time. Dean knows that something big has got to happen before he'll get to go home, he's both anxious for it and dreading it. He wants to go home, back to Sam and Castiel and shake them both till they believe every word he tells them is true and make them promise it's never going to be like that. But shit keeps happening, _bad_ shit, every time something goes wrong Dean thinks it can't get any worse and that the angels are going to bring him back this time. Except apparently it's going to get a lot worse cause he's still there. The Dean that's on patrol now will be back soon and Dean's not going to let him rub in his face how he was right about Cas all alone, so he decided to go back to his cabin and make peace.

Apparently Cas had other ideas because Dean finds him sleeping in his bed curled up against naked brunette. Dean stared at them in shock, Cas hadn't been with anyone besides him since Dean found him nestled in that pile of women and Dean says no to him once and he replaces him? The Buddha statue crashed to the ground without Dean knowing how, he didn't remember pushing it over but there's yellow porcelain digging into his feet as he walked out of the cabin.

"What did you expect Dean?" Cas called from the door way, doing his jeans up and flung the string of beads out of his face.

"You know Cas, sometimes I think you're not any better then he is." Dean refused to turn and look at him because he didn't want to see blue eyes and think of his angel, he just wanted to be angry.

"Fuck you." Cas spit at him and Dean turned around but he looks off into the cabin instead of meeting Cas's gaze. "Don't act so righteous Winchester. It's not like you're going to go home and confess your undying love to past me and live a happy monogamous life. You're going to bed the first easy blonde you find and forget all about your brief gay experience." He heard the trucks pull up at the front of camp and as much as he wanted to scream at Cas his pride was still his down fall and he wasn't going to have this argument in front of the other Dean. Instead he just walked away, heading over to Chuck's to steal any kind of booze he could get his hands on. "Right, run away Winchester that's what you always do, that's what you're good at."

Cas kept his eyes glued to the spot Dean once stood, long after he'd walked out of sight. His heart still pounded caught somewhere between anger and regret, knowing he'd crossed some sort of line but also knowing he shouldn't have let things go so far. Dean was leaving, maybe not today but soon he'd be gone and everything would go back to normal.

"Cas, what the hell did you do?" He didn't realize Mark was there till he had him shoved up against the railing. Cas wiped the tiny drops of spit of his face and pushed the man off him.

"Dean is…"

"Fuck Dean. I nearly died out there today, and you, you…" Mark huffed instead of finishing his sentence, he hiked his rifle over his shoulder and shoved a piece of hard paper into Cas's hands. "You didn't get this from me."

Cas watched him walk away, something he'd been doing a lot of the last few weeks, and looked down at what Mark had given him. A glossy postcard that had almost half of itself burned away, on the front a setting sun over a beach and bright yellow letters reading _Wishing you were here_. He turned it over reading the smooth cursive writing on the back, it made his blood run cold, made his knees give out beneath him. Cas never thought a few words could ever be so terrifying.

_Brother,_

_It's been awhile, you should come see me soon._

_L._

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><p><strong>So I'm a lot happier with this chapter then I've was with the last two :) I hope you like it!<strong>_  
><em>

**On another note though I feel like 2009 Dean is being a little out of character...So I'm just wondering if you guys think he is to? If you think he is, it be great if you could point out exactly why that is so I can try and write him better. Thanks so much!**

**Enjoy, please review 3**


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter song: Somebody that I Used To Know- Gotye**

"He's known." Dean swore ripping the postcard to shreds right before Cas' eyes. "This whole fucking time, he's known exactly where we were."

"I..." Cas trailed off staring at the tiny pieces of paper as they fluttered to the ground. A twinge of sorrow tugged at his heartstrings, the postcard both terrified him and gave him a glimmer of hope that someone out there might have given a damn about him. "You have to tell him now, about Sam."

"Bull."

"You've given him this delusion that Sam was some kind of martyr, you need to tell him that Sam failed or nothing will change."

Dean looked down at Cas, he felt naked under the cold gaze and drew his knees up to his chest. "You really think he can change anything?"

"No, I know you've always been to stubborn to listen to anyone else. He won't say yes to Michael, because Castiel won't let him, but that doesn't mean he can't find loopholes that will prevent all of this."

"All of this huh? Wow you make it sound like you're not happy here." Dean snorted. Cas pushed pieces of his broken Buddha across the floor, if this were any other day he'd have some sarcastic retort but this is the day he's reminded that he's completely venerable and easily killed.

"I think you wanted to love me, you wanted to be able to hold on to something human. And now every time you look at me you're reminded how not human you are." Dean stopped passing, he looked at Cas his eyes wide in shock. The look didn't surprise Cas because he hadn't called Dean out on his shit in years.

"Cas, everybody knows." Dean tried to keep his voice steady but it broke slightly, Cas wasn't sure if it was from shock or anger "Everybody knows about us. How could they not after that huge fucking scene that damn kid made…but that's what you wanted wasn't it? You wanted people to know, now they do."

"I always thought…I always thought that if it stopped being this secret thing we did behind doors then it would mean you and I actually had something. I prayed for it, for years, and now I realize I can't ask you for something you could never give me."

Dean looked away, Cas caught the quickest flash of something, guilt, pain, something he had seen on Dean's face since he first heard about Sam. All he wanted to do was beg him to stay and tell him it was all going to be okay but that wasn't the kind of thing his Dean did. So for the second time that day he just let Dean walk out of his life.

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><p>The news of the postcard had spread all over camp, everyone was whispering and trying not to panic. All this time they hadn't really been safe, they just hadn't been important enough to kill. Dean was sure Cas was teetering on the edge but Dean hadn't ever begged or crawled back to anyone before and he wasn't planning on starting now.<p>

Besides he's just won a staring contest with his self and been rewarded with the truth. _The devil's wearing Sam like a fucking Halloween mask_. And of course the only person that could ever leave Dean Winchester speechless was Dean Winchester. Then he was alone in the cabin trying to wrap his head around that, he'd barely flinched when he was told Sam was dead because the brothers died all the time and all he had to do was be there for the showdown because as long as they stuck together everything would be okay. But this was so far off the radar, it wasn't Sam being misled and tricked, it was Sam willingly saying yes to Lucifer. How was Dean supposed to deal with that?

"He told you." Dean didn't turn to look at Cas when the doors closed, only stared blankly ahead, curled up with his back against the wall. "I am sorry."

He sounded so formal if it weren't for the searing pain in Dean's chest he might have thought he was back in 2009. Dean wasn't sure if he was apologizing for the bloody wound on the back of his head or for lying to him the past few weeks.

"Leave." Dean croaked out.

"Dean said we can't continue to live under the devil's eye. He said we need a plan." Cas took a shaky breath. "And when we have one, we will go out and kill our brother."

Dean flinched, _our brother_ because now Lucifer and Sam were the same, they couldn't be separated and it was all over. Cas took slow steps over to the hunter, Dean heard the crumple of plastic and glanced over just enough to see a dull yellow bag gripped tightly in his hand.

"You're not him Dean and it doesn't have to end like this." Dean didn't think Cas actually believed any of that, it was all a poor attempt to comfort Dean or maybe Cas was trying to get back in his good graces.

"Not now Cas, just…not now."

"You once told me words are cheap." Cas dropped the bag by Dean's hip, it's contents rattled and some spilled out, one rolled all the way to Dean's feet. He looked down, saw the yellow bottle and the pink pills inside.

"Cas?" Dean asked.

"I don't need these." The way he said it, in a way that Dean's sure Cas wanted to add _That's stupid of course I need them, give them back_. Cas shifted from foot to foot forcing himself to look away from the scattered bottles on the floor as Dean packed them back into the yellow bag. "May I sit with you?"

A part of Dean nagged at him that the bag was only half full and there was probably still dozens of bottles all over camp. It was a start though. Dean shrugged his shoulders and the ex angel sat down next to him. He felt like he should say something, yell that this is all a bad dream and Sam would never actually agree to be the devils meat suit.

Cas doesn't say anything either, as much as he wanted to because whatever he said might throw Dean into a homicidal rage. _I know he's an evil, lying, manipulative son of a bitch that I never really liked but he's still my brother, the only family I have in the entire universe. And now, some how I feel like Lucifer was the only one that gave a damn, maybe he allowed this whole camp to exist for me and it's not his fault you turned out to be such a let down_.

Of course he'll never say that and in a few hours he'll be back to blindly following their fearless leader. "He just couldn't handle it, when Sam left he barely held on, then one day he just shut down."

"I can't do it Cas." Dean nearly chocked out. "Sammy's all I got, and I don't care if he's the ten year old brat from before or the king of Hell he is now, I can't kill my own brother."

"I know. You won't have to."

"He won't do it either, he can't- no one changes that much. It doesn't matter how different you think I am here he won't be able to kill Sam."

"He's not you anymore and that's not Sam."

"Trust me, it won't matter." Cas gave Dean a hard look almost as if he was seeing him for the first time.

"I forgot how hopeful you used to be." Dean had been called a lot of things but hopeful was certainly never one them. "It's weird."

"What is?"

"This gap between who you are and who I remember you being, I suppose that's what happens when you put someone high up on a pedestal." Cas let out a chuckle, soft and slightly bitter. "Being so young I'm sure you won't understand the reference. But really, you're just somebody that I used to know."

**So I apologize that this is short, I'm half-way through a chapter from another story when I realized it's been Forever since I've updated this. So I wanted to write out a quick chapter so there wouldn't be to long a wait till I write a real chapter. **

**Enjoy! Reviews always make me giddy :P. **


	11. Chapter 11

In 2009 Dean gave Castiel a fake FBI badge and introduced him to lying and he hadn't been able to stop since. Granted the bag had contained most of Cas's stash and all of the most dangerous drugs but they both knew he hadn't quit just by the fact he didn't start convulsing a few hours later. But Cas couldn't deny the guilt he got every time he snuck a couple pills something he didn't think he'd ever felt again.

"You're late." Dean grunted slamming shut the dusty yellow book he was reading.

"Actually, I'm right on time." Cas kicked the door closed and headed straight for Dean's closet.

"Where's your prince charming."

"Sleeping." It took a bit of searching but Cas finally found the small zip lock bag full of orange pills. He tossed a few in his mouth and there was that strange feeling again, the tiny pills turned into lead weights at the bottom of his stomach. It was enough to make him crumble up the bag and toss it in the rusty garbage can.

"Didn't want him to see you getting your fix?" Dean stood up and made his way over to Cas. He came up behind Cas and gripped his hips, pulling him close and nipping at his ear. "Must piss him off to get my sloppy seconds."

The drugs started to grab hold off him, his heart slowed down and the bugs that had been crawling underneath his skin disappeared and died. But he needed to focus, he'd been living in la-la-land for the last five years and it was about time he tried to put himself back together. Cas yanked himself out of Dean's hold and spun around, he found Dean not looking surprised or angry just mildly amused. "You shouldn't bother waiting up for me anymore."

"Yeah?"

Cas gulped and continued. "Because I won't be coming back."

Cas braced himself for Dean's anger, spiteful words or a strong hand slamming against his jaw, instead Dean bit out a laugh. "Seriously? You finally get the balls to stand up for yourself and you leave me for myself?"

Cas doesn't answer he just turned to leave, the smallest hint of anger that pumped into his heart gave him enough strength to walk away. He told himself that he could do this, that he should have done it a very long time ago. When he grabbed hold of the door knob he almost felt giddy though he wasn't sure if that was from excitement or the drugs. Dean slammed his hand down on the door and held it shut to stop Cas from leaving.

"I'm not going to stop you because we both know you'll come crawling back as soon as wonder boy leaves." He grabbed Cas's hip and pulled him close again, Cas felt his hot breath against his cheek as he leaned into whisper "if you even last that long."

"No," Cas insisted "it's different this time."

Dean roughly grabbed Cas's shoulders and spun him around, his shoulder blades dug into the decaying wood of the door as Dean pressed into him hard. "You know best case scenario, he goes back to his time and forgets all about you because he'll have that stupid naïve angel instead. Worst case, he stays here and you get to watch him turn into me with every passing day. Maybe you'll get a whole year of ignorant bliss before he wakes up one day and discovers just how disgusting you are, the drugged out hippie he can't even stand to look at."

"You're not Dean Winchester anymore." His words finally had the desired effect, something flashed behind his eyes, Cas wanted to believe it might have been hurt or maybe shame but Dean didn't feel much of anything anymore. Dean stepped back, his hands fell from Cas's coat and dropped to his side. "You're not the man I raised from hell."

Dean moved back even farther finally giving Cas enough room to turn around and grab hold of the door knob. "You walk out that door, don't bother ever coming back."

Cas paused with his hand gripped tightly around the knob, Dean's words rang in his ears, the same words John had screamed at Sam when he went off to Stanford. He knew this was the deciding moment that if he didn't walk away right now, he never would. Taking a shaky breath he yanked the door open, the cool night air hit him like hurricane and it was almost like walking into an entirely different world. A world without Dean and it was pretty fucking terrifying. He hadn't even realized he'd walked away till he was almost back at his cabin.

Through five years of fighting and pain Cas had thought about ending whatever he and Dean had, albeit only ever for a few seconds before he drowned his sorrows in drugs and women. He always imagined it would be freeing, like a huge weight lifted off his shoulders and usually in this fantasy world Dean would always come find him, full of apologizes and promises that it be different. It wasn't anything like that, Dean didn't so much as call after him and somehow Cas felt worse than he had in years, suddenly it was like he couldn't breath.

He forced himself to move and step by step he made his way back to his cabin. He pushed aside the curtain of beads and stood at the end of his bed. The younger Dean was sprawled on his stomach, he hadn't even bothered to take his boots off before he passed out. When Cas had still been an angel he had often watched Dean sleep, perplexed why a human would let himself be so vulnerable for several hours a night.

"Cas?" Dean murmured, his eyes barely opened and still full of sleep.

"Take your boots off." Cas chocked out for lack of anything better to say. "They're covered in mud."

Dean groaned and rolled onto his back, he managed to nudge his feet out of the dirty shoes and kick them on to the ground. He had almost fallen back asleep when he remembered that Cas was still staring at him. "Is everything okay?"

Cas sat down on the bed and Dean flipped onto his side to look at him but it was so dark he only really saw an outline. Cas didn't say anything, only continued to stare at the younger man, which finally pulled Dean out of his sleepy haze. Dean placed a hand on Cas's knee trying to get his attention "what's going on Cas?"

"Don't talk." Cas ordered and leaned down over Dean, pushing his dry chapped lips against Dean's soft ones. Dean was stiff under him, he knew that something was up with Cas but he didn't know if he wanted to push him or not. Mostly Dean was just tired of fighting. Cas grabbed hold of Dean's shoulders and flipped them over, pulling Dean on top of him. He yanked on the fabric of Dean's shirt telling him to take it off and Dean hadn't even finished removing it before Cas started working on his pants. Dean tried to say something but didn't manage half a syllable before Cas shot him a hard glare and yanked down his boxers.

Cas managed to wiggle out of his clothes so fast that at another time Dean might have thought he used his angel mojo. He lied back down on the bed, grabbed Dean's hand and sucked two of his fingers between his lips. When they were generously coated in spit Dean pulled them free of Cas's mouth and pushed them inside him instead. Cas hissed at the burn Dean's fingers made as he was stretched open but the pain slowly ebbed away till Cas was squirming underneath the hunter. The fingers left him and before he could protest he felt Dean's cock nudging at his hole like he thought Cas might suddenly change his mind and push him away.

"Just do it." Cas growled and Dean didn't need to be told twice. Dean pushed in inch by inch nearly making Cas sob because he wanted it hard and fast but Dean insisted on making love or some shit. Cas dug his nails into Dean's shoulders when he finally bottomed out, trying to encourage him to really give it to him, to make it hurt. Dean's pace quickened till he slammed into Cas with every thrust but it still wasn't enough and it was only then that Cas realized how right his Dean was, Cas was so fucked up beyond repair that he broke everything he touched. Dean groaned above him, head dropping down to kiss Cas's neck probably thinking Cas was shaking in pleasure instead of all his walls crashing down.

"Dean." he gasped out. "Dean, tell me you love me." Dean moaned something into Cas's neck before gently biting down. Cas didn't know what he said and it didn't really matter because even if Dean had said he loved him, he didn't really mean it. The Dean that loved him, didn't know him and the Dean that knew him, didn't love him. Cas had jumped out of the frying pan and into the fire.

Dean thrust became fast and erratic, he reached between them to grab Cas and when he found him soft, he must have assumed he'd already came because he didn't miss a beat as he frantically pushed into Cas. Cas found himself just staring up at the ceiling and waiting for Dean to finish, it wasn't long before Dean slammed into Cas one last time and stilled. He panted into Cas's skin, Cas can feel every drop of sweet and puff of air that hit him and the thumping heart beat Dean pressed against his chest. Dean finally rolled off of him and before Cas can even feel the cold night air on his skin he's pulled into Dean's arms. Cas wiggled around so his back was against Dean's chest, Dean assumed that Cas was just trying to get comfortable but really he just wanted to get away.

Dean had almost instantly fallen back asleep but Cas didn't so much as close his eyes the entire night. He listened to the nearly perfect silence that filled the night and then the sounds of the camp coming to life in the morning. When Dean began to wake up, Cas feigned sleep so he wouldn't have to listen to Dean try and ask him what was wrong. They pulled their clothes back on and went in search of food, Cas wasn't hungry but he whipped up some powdered eggs for Dean who poured nearly six table spoons of salt on it to make them edible.

"So…" Dean trailed off pushing the goopy re-hydrated eggs around his plate. It seemed like it had only taken them a few weeks for them to run out of things to talk about but that worked out for Cas because he was very much not in the mood to talk. The door beside them creaked open and Rebecca entered, when the other two looked at her in stony silence she got the hint that they weren't in the mood for her insane babbling. She looked down at Dean's eggs and attempted to scoop some up with her fingers but it always slid back down to the plate before she reached her mouth. By the fourth try Dean had decided there was too much Rebecca tainting his food now and just shoved the plate over to her. "Here just take it."

Melissa smiled gratefully and began scooping up the eggs with her newly acquired spork. Cas put his face in his hands, addiction was tugging at Cas's insides again but his stash was either in their fearless leaders cabin or where ever Dean had hidden the bag he gave him. At least with Rebecca he didn't have to worry about talking or acting normal. She finished the eggs and strained her neck to try and look out the window, a door was slammed and they heard someone shout, Rebecca made a squeaking sound and dove under the table.

"Have any of you seen Francis?" Cassidy yanked open the door and shot both Cas and Dean a frantic look.

"Uh, no not today." Dean answered.

"Have you checked the garden?" Cas offered but Cassidy stormed off before he could finish. Cas moved his chair back and looked between his legs at Rebecca who was chewing nervously at a lock of hair. "Is there something you'd like to tell us?"

"I have a bottle of vicodin in my room." She replied the soggy bits of hair falling from her mouth. Dean sent a swift kick to her hip and she jumped, hitting her head against the table. "OW!"

"Where's Francis?"

"I don't know specifically where he is at this exact moment."

"Rebecca." Cas said in a harsh tone.

"I saw him, when I was in the trees, he didn't see me but I saw him, I saw all of them. Hurrying around like little ants, getting stepped on but ants don't go in trees, birds go in trees."

"Where's Francis?" Cas tried again, stopping her before she got too off track.

"I can't tell you, he'll be mad, very mad. I don't like to be yelled at."

"But if he didn't see you then he won't know you told." Cas pointed out.

Rebecca considered what Cas said, tapping her finger against her chin and finally nodded. "Francis wants to go outside, always wants to go outside, but he's never been allowed to before."

"He's outside of camp? He went past the sigils?"

"Dean woke him up very early, took him in the truck and drove off. Big plans, everything coming together."

$%^&#

As soon as the camp came into view he could see the crowd that had gathered. Dean cursed and turned off the ignition, this was the last thing he needed. He stepped out of the car and Cassidy was instantly in his face, shoving him back against the car door.

"What the hell where you thinking?" She screeched.

"Mark, take her inside." Dean ordered, placing a hand on Cassidy's shoulder and pushing her away.

"No! I'm not going anywhere without Francis!" Beside her, Mark shifted from foot to foot and only then did Cassidy see everyone's down caste gaze. Even Dean wasn't looking her in the eye. "Where's my brother?"

"You need to go inside."

"Is he dead?" Cassidy choked out.

"No." Dean stepped back to the back of the truck and pulled off the tarp. Francis laid unconscious in the back, bound and gagged and covered in blood. Despite her brothers condition Cassidy instantly looked relieved that he was still breathing but Dean stomped on any hope she might have had. "He's infected."

"What?" Cassidy tore her eyes away from her brother and looked disbelievingly at Dean.

"The blood isn't his."

"Did you actually see a Croat attack him?" Dean didn't answer. "Then you can't know, maybe he'll-"

"I'm not playing wait-and-see with a Croat, Cassidy. That would put the whole camp on danger."

"Danger? Why would you even take him out in the first place?" She yelled.

"I needed bait." He said it so casually, like he was talking about fishing with worms instead of using a human being. The last truck in the line opened it's doors and Johnny hoped out before reaching back in and dragging another man with him. Like Francis he was tied up, pieces of duck taped covered his mouth and eyes and he had black ink scribbled on his face and arms.

"A demon?" Cassidy gaped. "You risked my brother's life to get a demon."

"I brought you back a body to bury." Dean growled. "I could have just left him there."

"You-" Mark stepped in between Dean and Cassidy, stopping her from saying anything else. He ushered her backwards though she struggled against his hold, screaming at Dean and eventually bursting into tears.

Dean shrugged it all off and ordered someone to take Francis to the medical ward and the demon to his cabin. The others nodded and hurried off to get away from Dean who stayed behind to grab his things out of the truck.

"You've gone too far." Dean looked back over his shoulder to find Cas looking unusually angry for someone usually high out their mind.

"I'm sorry," Dean sneered "do I know you?"

"Whatever is going on between us, you had no right to drag Francis into it."

"Between us?" Dean laughed harshly, hiking his bag over his shoulder and reached for his shot gun. "You think I give two shits that you finally grew a spine? You were just an easy fuck but there are plenty of those around Chitaqua."

"You're pathetic."

Dean's grin slipped off his face and Cas thought he might hit him again. Instead Dean slammed the truck door and walked past Cas with out even touching him, like he was worried he might catch something from him. "Meeting tonight at eight. Don't be late."

**So I totally ditzed out and forgot to update this, not that's it's been too long but I didn't think it would take a month to update. I almost didn't write Cas breaking things off with his Dean because I thought it was kinda unlike him but I rationalized that he only did it because he had _an__other_ Dean to go to. So I hope no one thinks it's was OOC.**

**I was starting to think that no one was reading this story because there were like four or five chapters where no one reviewed but then I got some again :) Not that I'm writing just for reviews of course but I was starting to think that maybe my chapters were starting to suck or something :S**

**Anyways, enjoy! Please R&R**


	12. Chapter 12

Cas knew exactly what Dean was doing with the demon he brought back, it wasn't like Dean brought demons home for afternoon tea and friendly chats. Usually when Dean reverted back to torture Cas would chug down a bottle of tequila and distract himself because the sight of Dean covered in blood, steady hands cutting into flesh, made Cas sick, reminded him of the broken soul he found in hell. That wasn't really an option right now with Cas being sort of sober, he had to resort to hiding out in his cabin trying to fit his Buddha statue back together. He made it absolutely clear to everyone that the other Dean was not to know what his future self was up to.

The sky got darker and darker and then it was eight o'clock but Cas didn't rush off to Dean's stupid meeting. He waited five, ten, fifteen minutes, before he forced himself to his feet and walked over to headquarters. It wasn't often Cas disobeyed a direct order and he was eager to see the look on Dean's face when he showed up late, silently letting the camps leader know he didn't control him anymore.

Except when Cas got there the room was nearly empty, only Dean stood by the table wiping blood off his hand. He shot a glance up at Cas and swiped cloth over a red stain on his cheek. "What are you doing here?"

"You said to meet here at eight."

"Did I?" Dean tossed the bloody rag in the trashcan. "I told everyone else nine."

"I should go."

"Sit." Dean ordered, sitting down on a chair and pulling another one up beside him. Cas ignored the order but didn't move to leave either, instead he watched Dean with wary eyes trying to figure out what he was up to. Dean reached into the cabinet and pulled out a half full bottle of Wild Turkey and two dirty glasses. He poured them each a glass and quickly gulped down his but Cas barely even glanced at the amber liquid.

"That's cute." Cas drawled. Dean slung one of his arms over the back of his chair and raised an eyebrow at Cas. "You're trying to get me back."

Dean snorted and refilled his glass. "I already told you I'm not going to chase after you."

"You think you can offer me some cheap booze and I'll just bend over for you?" Cas scoffed

"No." Dean stuck his hand in his pocket, pulled out a white bottle and slammed it down on the table. It was something new, Dean must have picked it up that morning when he went out. There was that familiar tug, his insides twisting, his mind counting the seconds that have passed since he last gotten his fix. Dean saw the way Cas's eyes locked on the pill bottle and chuckled, picking it up again and twisting open the cap.

"I should go." Cas repeated.

"There's the door." Dean pointed behind him but Cas didn't move, his eyes were glued on the pills that Dean poured out on the table, gel caps filled with a purple powder. Dean picked up four of the pills and plopped them one by one into the Wild Turkey, the liquid soaking in and making the gel soften and start to break apart.

"Please don't do this." Cas croaked, he didn't try to leave because he knew if he moved he'd loose all control, he wouldn't be able to stop himself from grabbing the pills and swallowing them all. Dean lifted the glass up but instead of offering it to Cas like he expected Dean held it up to his own lips. He took a drink, only enough to capture a pill before he set the glass back down, he smiled up at Cas one of the pills trapped between his front teeth. Dean bit down, breaking the gel casing and sending the powder bursting out unto his lips and gums. Cas pounced on him, the last of his will breaking as he pulled Dean to his feet and sucked his lip in between his teeth.

Cas pushed him back against the table, nearly knocking the Wild Turkey bottle over as he forced Dean down unto his back. He ran his tongue along Dean's teeth and gum, sucked the powder off his bottom lip and salvaged every speck of the drug he could reach. Cas crawled onto the table, coming to straddle Dean's hip between his thighs trying to get closer, only thinking about the bitter taste the unknown substance left in Dean's mouth. They finally pulled apart to breath, Dean spat on the table to clear out any of the drug Cas might have missed and Cas went straight for the glass. He poured the bourbon down his throat the drugs already smoothly dissolved in the drink, it streamed out of the corners of his mouth when he couldn't swallow fast enough. He went to grab the pills scattered on the table top but wrapped his hands in Cas's shirt and ripped it open, buttons clattered next to the pills Cas had been so eager for.

Dean stood up and Cas was forced to wrap his legs around the hunters waist to stop himself from tumbling to the ground. Dean only stumbled a few steps before he dropped to his knees and pushed Cas off of him. Cas's hands dropped to his belt, numb fingers fumbled to pull the strap free from the buckle. Dean pealed his shirt off and laughed at Cas's feeble attempt to remove his pants. Dean pushed Cas's hands aside and made quick work of his belt before yanking down his jeans and boxers. Cas attempted to lift his hips up to help Dean take off his clothes but everything was so foggy and his entire body felt like jelly.

"You still with me?" Dean asked when Cas's head lulled to the side. He didn't wait for an answer before he spit in his hand and rubbed it over his cock. On instinct Cas spread his legs and Dean grabbed his hips and pulled him into his lap. "Aren't you a good little bitch?"

Cas eyes wandered around the room when Dean began to push inside, Cas thought that he should paint the walls during the meeting. Something bright, maybe yellow, the dirty brown it was now was a little depressing. "Hey," Dean snapped, grabbing Cas's jaw and forcing him to look at Dean "fucking focus."

Cas blinked up at Dean, he was only vaguely aware of Dean moving inside him, he was much more interested in the green eyes staring up at him. An intense colour, Cas decided that the walls would look much better if they matched Dean's eyes. The man above him growled and reached between them, Cas almost jumped when he felt a rough hand slid up his dick. Dean's thumb swiped around Cas's head, gathering pre-come and sliding his hand back down Cas's length. He pumped in time with his thrusts, pulling a moan from Cas who cried out when Dean snapped his hips forward and hit his prostate.

Cas's mind began to swirl, Dean was trying to distract him, Dean probably didn't even want him to paint. Dean groaned and his eyes snapped shut, Cas whimpered at the loss and reached up to cup Dean's face. He ran his thumb gently beneath Dean's eyes, over and over till Dean finally jerked his eyes open. "_Fuck_, stop looking at me."

"You are so beautiful." Cas breathed.

"Son of a bitch." Dean swore before pulling out of Cas who frowned at the loss of warmth. Dean turned him over onto his stomach then yanked him onto his hands and knees before he slammed back in. Cas was unsteady and weak having to hold himself, Dean cursed again and pulled Cas back into his lap.

"Oh." Cas gasped, clueing back in on what was happening. Dean bit down on Cas's shoulder and his pained cry was strangled off into a moan when Dean wrapped a hand around his throbbing cock. "_Dean_."

The hunter sucked on his bite mark, his free hand dragged up Cas's chest and he flicked his thumb over his nipple. Cas head flopped back onto Dean's shoulder and Dean gave his nipple a tight twist sending a shiver threw the ex-angels body. "You're so fucking easy. You have a whole camp full of people crawling into your bed and it's still not enough is it?"

Cas's voice comes out a squeak, his hands reach back to try and find leverage but his limb are still to weak to do much more then meekly grip at Dean's hips. Dean's fingers pulled at Cas's messy hair till his neck was craned back so far it was hard to breath. "What would _that kid_ think if he saw you like this?"

Dean ran his tongue over the shell of Cas's ear and released his hair to claw at his hip again. "Can he do this?" Dean growled. "Does he give you what you _really_ want?

Teeth clamped down on his neck again, the pain letting Cas know Dean wanted an answer. "No, just- just you."

Dean groaned, his hand tightened around Cas as his pace sped up, it only took a few more strokes before Cas was coming hard shooting thick white stream across his chest. Dean pushed into Cas one last time before he lost it to, spilling hot inside of Cas before grunting and tossing him to the floor.

"Wow," Dean panted as he shoved his legs back into his pants "you lasted a whole twenty four before you came crawling back."

Cas felt finger card through his hair, ruffling it like he was a little kid. "No, that's not what…" He tried shaking his head but it made the world spin around him and he stopped.

"Whatever helps you sleep at night." Dean grunted and tossed Cas his jeans. Cas fingers shuffled at the buttons of his shirt it was only after he had thought he was half way done did he realize that most of his buttons had been ripped away and he'd only managed to do up one of the remainders.

"The buttons don't…work." Cas murmured dejectedly.

"You're like a fucking baby, you know that?" Dean muttered harshly. He yanked Cas's jacket closed and zipped it up, covering up both the cum stains on his shirt and the hickey on his neck. He pulled his pants back up but Cas remained on the floor, staring up at the ceiling till something was splashed in his face. His eyes instantly burned and the bit that had gotten in his mouth sent him into a fit of coughs. He rolled onto his side and furiously rubbed at his eyes but it didn't do much to help.

"Get up, everybody will be here soon." Dean set the bottle of bourbon back on the table and waited for Cas's body to stop trying to hack the booze out of his lungs. He ended up having to half drag Cas into one of the chairs and he instantly slumped against the table laying his head in his folded arms. He drifted in and out hearing the door open and close but more concerned on trying to remember where his shoes were.

"Oh, trust me, he wasn't lying." His Dean snorted and Cas looked up from his hiding place, seeing all the angry faces that surrounded him.

"And you know this how?" Risa asked doubtfully.

_Our fearless leader, I'm afraid, is all too well schooled in the art of getting to the truth_. Cas thought to himself as he laid his head back in arms.

"Torture?" Dean gaped. "Oh, so, we're—we're torturing again." Cas sat up in his chair, Dean wasn't supposed to know that, what idiot would have let that slip. The present Dean was glaring at him and Cas paled thinking he might have been that idiot, he turned to Chuck to ask if he was the one that blabbed but found the seat next to him empty. It figured that if Cas couldn't keep it in his pants for a few hours then of course we wasn't going to be able to keep a secret long.

He laughed, he had no idea why, his body just began to force out a giggle and then there was tough-as-nails Dean glaring at him again. "What? I like past you."

Everyone stopped paying attention to Cas and he slipped back into his own little world again. He started to count his fingers to make sure he still had them all but he kept loosing count. The room grew silent and Cas glanced around to find everyone looking at him. Had he been talking? His Dean rolled his eyes and Cas miserably thought he must have disappointed him again. "He's coming."

Cas didn't know what he was talking about but he nodded like he did. He didn't see Risa leave but she was suddenly not there and the two Deans were arguing again. Cas was ready to fall asleep but someone roughly grabbed his arm and hauled him to his feet. Even angry the past Dean couldn't hold a candle to the constant rage Cas's Dean always had hidden behind his eyes. Dean dragged Cas out the door, he looked back to see the older Dean studying the map and paying no attention to his reluctant lover being taken away by another man.

"Are people still…saying 'bro'…back in your time?" Cas managed to slur out when Dean started forcing up the few steps that led to his cabin. "'Because I hated that."

Dean shoved him against the wall and yanked down the zipper of Cas's jacket. Cas was a little startled by Dean's actions, he usually refused to touch Cas if he was intoxicated but Cas wasn't going to complain. He tried to lean in to kiss Dean but he was pushed back against the wall, Dean pulled at the collar of his shirt to reveal the purple bruise that had darken since the other Dean covered it up. Cas opened his mouth to try and explain it away but Dean's eyes traveled down to the stains on Cas's shirt. He barely had time to catch the revulsion on Dean's face before he was left standing on his own, nearly tumbling over from the lack of support. Dean was out of sight before Cas could ask him to wait and Cas tried to stumble after him but tripped over his own feet and tumbled to the ground.

Cas groaned and curled up on his side coming face to face with the broken shards of half Buddha's face. "Yashodhara never gave you this much trouble."

#%&#

Cassidy hovered by the edge of the red spray paint, her foot nudging at the thick line that formed a circle around the camp. Outside that line was a whole different world full of danger and monsters and she was about to walk straight into it.

"It's unfortunate it had to end this way." Cassidy spun around, almost smacking Rebecca across her cheek.

"What are you doing here?" She yelped.

"I liked you." Rebecca said dazedly. "I like Francis to. Too bad, so sad."

"You can't stop me." Cassidy stepped back, inches away from the seal.

"When you come back," Rebecca stepped next to Cassidy, stretching her hands out across the barrier but planting her feet safely inside it "you should bring me ice cream. I haven't had ice cream in years."

"Are you going to tell Dean?" Cassidy asked carefully.

"Oh no, Dean…"She trailed off lifting on leg out the circle and balancing on one unsteady foot. "Dean will be too distracted to notice."

Cassidy sighed realizing that Rebecca was no threat to anything and had only showed up to annoy her. "You should head back Rebecca. I'm going alone."

"I'll make sure they don't blow Francis's brain out till you come back." Rebecca grinned as if offering to make coffee for Cassidy's return. She dropped her limbs to her side and stepped away, studying Cassidy from head to toe. "Do you think you can find him in time?"

"I'm sure he'll find me first." Cassidy said before she could stop herself, the less Rebecca knew the better.

"I screwed up a lot." Rebecca tapped her chin and turned back toward camp. "Next time around I'll do things a lot better, yes, it will be all gum drops and lollipops next time."

Cassidy ignored Rebecca, her footsteps crunched against old leaves slowly disappearing as she made her way back to camp. She reminded herself that it was now or never, thinking back to Francis tied up and covered in blood, she had only one option left. Cassidy took a deep breath trying to keep her heartbeat steady and stepped out of the safety net that surrounded Chitaqua. The rest of camp was off in dreamland while Cassidy walked right into Armageddon.

**So I think there is only going to be two or three more chapters, and I'm planning on posting the first chapter of the sequel the same time I post the last chapter. I'm probably going to go back and fix up the previous chapters so there might be a bit of a wait till next chapter. I got such nice reviews last chapter I just had to post a new chapter early! I think this is probably my favorite story even though I don't update it much :)**

**Enjoy! Please review :D**


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